


Where the Heart Is

by Kwizzic



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bickering Is How We Show Love, Epic Friendship, Family Feels, Gen, Jiraiya Raises Naruto, Jiraiya is the Best Godfather, Naruto is Just Naruto, Slow Build, Surprisingly Functional Team Seven, Unconventional Childhood, character driven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-16 22:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7287610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kwizzic/pseuds/Kwizzic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending his childhood traversing the globe with Jiraiya, twelve-year-old Naruto Uzumaki returns to the Hidden Leaf for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Over the Hill and Through the Woods

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted (at long last) from Fanfiction.net
> 
>  **Content Warning:** Strong language and canon-typical violence. References to canonical child abuse and death. Occasional unabashed silliness.

"Hey, Jiji!"

Along a path shaded by tall oak trees, a boy and an old man were making their way south through the forest.

They made an odd pair: the man was a veritable giant, with broad shoulders and a wide frame. His mane of white hair fell in untidy spikes to his lower back, and he wore an eye-catching scarlet cloak. The boy, by contrast, was small and compact, with blond hair and a stubborn chin. His shorts and dull orange combat jacket were stained with mud, and one of his boots was unlaced.

"I _know_ you can hear me, old man, quit ignoring me!"

With a sigh, Jiraiya glanced back at his godson. Naruto was trotting to catch up with him- though the kid lacked the advantage of long legs, he made up for it with unbridled energy.

"What's up, kiddo?"

"How long till we get there?" Naruto made a face. "If it's gonna be long, can we stop for lunch? I'm _hungry_ , I haven't eaten since that ramen stand in Morita Village-"

"That was an hour and a half ago."

The boy looked nonplussed. "Yeah. So?"

"So you're a bottomless pit," Jiraiya reached out and ruffled the kid's hair. "No, we're not stopping. We'll be there soon, so have a protein bar or something."

"What, really?" That was excitement in Naruto's voice, not complaint- his blue eyes lit up with eagerness and he skipped a few steps forward. "You're not kidding, are you?"

"Of course not."

"How long?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Maybe another half an hour? The trees are getting taller, so we should be close. We'll probably even be able to see it from the top of the ridge."

"What's it like?" Naruto asked, words tumbling out all at once. "Hidden Leaf, I mean. And will we see any ninja before we get there? How big is it- big like _huge_ , or just sort of big, like that one town in Sugar Country with the tower and the guy in the dumb hat with the tassel and the monkey- though I guess that one was pretty big after all, if you included the palace thingy—"

Jiraiya regarded him with amusement for a moment.

The kid was so much like his mother with his little outbursts. Probably Jiraiya should have worked harder to teach him patience and discipline, like a proper ninja- but he'd never had the heart. Besides, there were enough by-the-book ninja in Leaf. The ones with real promise tended to come off as eccentrics.

"Hey, since the buildings in Hidden Sand are made of sand, does that mean that the buildings in Leaf are made of leaves? Ha, or trees. Like a whole city of tree houses, that would be _so_ cool."

"Hate to break it to you," Jiraiya said with a chuckle, "But they're just normal houses."

Naruto wilted in disappointment.

"Most of 'em are sort of roundish," he explained. "And they have some wacky paint jobs."

The kid frowned. "That's not interesting at all."

"Sacrifices you gotta make," Jiraiya said with a shrug. "When you have a lot of trade coming in and out, you can't very well build your village on the top of a mountain, can you?"

"Hidden Cloud is on top of a mountain," Naruto said mulishly.

"And it's all grand and imposing and picturesque, sure. Incredibly difficult to attack _or_ infiltrate- believe me, I know. But if you cut off their supply lines, they'd have an incredibly hard time in a siege. It isn't easy to cart food and supplies up sheer cliffs, and it isn't as though you can grow it yourself on a mountain."

His godson made a face.

"Hey, this is important stuff if you're gonna be Hokage."

Naruto scowled. "Yeah, I know."

"Sure you want to?" the old man needled. "You could always give up that idea, be an intel specialist like me?"

"No way." The kid turned up his nose. "I'm gonna be a better Hokage than my dad."

Jiraiya turned away, hiding a grin.

Twelve years ago, when he took Naruto into his custody, Sarutobi-sensei had asked him to keep Naruto's parents a secret from the boy as he grew up.

Jiraiya refused point-blank. He'd seen the point, of course: let even the most amiable and good-natured citizen from Earth Country find out that the Fourth Hokage had a kid, and all their efforts toward peace would go to hell in a handbasket. The Yellow Flash hadn't been too popular in Hidden Rock, to put it mildly. But Naruto deserved their memory, at least, and he could keep a secret.

Actually, he'd made a policy of being honest with the kid about everything. His parents were one of Naruto's secrets, and the Nine-Tailed Fox was another.

"Sure, kid." Jiraiya snorted. "You know your dad wasn't that interested in being the Hokage, right? I mean, as a kid he was into the idea, but it was your mom who was really determined."

"Yeah, I know." Naruto stuck out his tongue. "Well, I'll be better than both of them."

"An Uzumaki as Hokage." His godfather grinned, lost in thought. "I suppose it's about time. Two Senjus and a Sarutobi- your dad was making some changes, but we're right back to where we started."

"What?"

"No, never mind," Jiraiya said after a moment. "Just an old man's ramblings."

They walked in silence for a moment.

A warm spring breeze rustled the leaves on the trees, and the patches of the sky that showed through the cover of branches were blue and cloudless. The air carried the scent of rain-washed soil and growing things. Dragonflies buzzed around the tall grass and clovers beside the path.

It was, in short, a beautiful day for a journey home.

Jiraiya hadn't seen his village in twelve long years. Neither had Naruto. But now the wait was over, and his godson would be going home.

Looking back on it, there was nothing he regretted. Raising Naruto was his responsibility- though of course he hadn't foreseen the event actually _happening_ when he'd agreed to be the godfather of Minato's son. Naruto had no family- where else would he have gone? To some vicious, backstabbing noble clan that wanted the prestige of raising the Fourth Hokage's heir? To some ANBU compound in the middle of nowhere? That was no way to go about it- Naruto deserved, if not a perfect childhood, then at least one with some freedom and adventure.

Now Naruto was old enough, it was time he returned to his real home and became a genin.

"Is it nice?" Naruto asked, breaking the pensive silence.

"Huh?"

"Leaf. Is it a nice place?"

Jiraiya snorted. "Come on, kid. I've only told you about it some hundred times."

"Well, I wanna hear it again." Naruto tugged on his backpack- a nervous gesture. "I mean, we're gonna be staying there a really long time, aren't we? So I just want to know-"

His godfather took pity. "Well, if I had to say-"

"Oh, but not about the trade and stuff. That's boring."

"Quit interrupting, brat! Anyway, it's like any big city. The people are nice, very friendly, and the women are quite frankly _stunning_ -"

"Ugh, _Jiji_ , that's gross!"

"Very lax regulations on the bathhouses, too-" Jiraiya caught Naruto's mutinous glare. "Okay, okay. Honestly, you have no appreciation for my art."

Annoyed, Naruto swung a fist at his godfather, who ducked easily.

A small scuffle ensued. Naturally, Jiraiya won.

\--

Some time later, the travel-weary pair emerged from the woods onto the main path on the ridge. In the interim, Naruto had somehow managed to get even _more_ covered in dirt and also had a number of twigs caught in his hair. Despite this, he was brimming with excitement.

"Come _on_ , old man!" he cried in a pained voice. "We're so close, let's hurry up!"

"You're telling _me_ to hurry up? Now tell me, which of us is the one who can't use the Body Flicker technique and get here the convenient way? Which of us hasn't signed a summoning contract and can't reverse-summon himself? And _which_ of us has put up with all these inconveniences and taken the whole journey on foot so that the _slow_ one has company on the trip?" Jiraiya deliberately stuck his hands in his pockets and ambled along even more slowly.

"Darn it, Jiji, I wanna get there now!"

"Patience is a vital virtue for any good ninja."

"Aw, shut up!"

"Oi, show some respect! Damn brat."

Naruto gave him a wicked grin. "Oh, I get it. You're so _old_ that you're all tired out."

Jiraiya swatted at the impudent brat, but he managed to skip away and evade the blow.

"Losing your touch, old man?"

"Oh, now you're just asking for trouble!"

"Catch me if you can!" Naruto took off running full-out down the path, laughter ringing in his wake.

Of _course_ Jiraiya had to go after him- he couldn't let that kind of nonsense go unchecked. When he finally caught up- because he was going easy on the brat, not because he was in any way losing his touch- he made to grab the kid in a headlock and give him the greatest noogie of all his twelve years combined.

Or at least, that was what he'd intended to do.

But when he saw Naruto's face, he paused.

The kid was perfectly still, like time had frozen around him and the world gone silent. His mouth was opened a fraction, but he didn't say anything. His eyes were huge and shining and awestruck, as he gazed in amazement along the path to the south.

Knowing what he'd see, and feeling the warmth of home in his chest, Jiraiya turned to look.

The Hidden Leaf.

\--

There it was. The scene Naruto had imagined his entire life.

From the ridge, the whole of the village could be seen. The tall gates surrounding the city from the north, and the crest of stone and mountain cliffs that cradled it from the south. It sprawled out across the forest, immeasurably immense, with patches of wood even inside the borders of the wall. It was clearly built _among_ the trees, and not merely within the forest's borders. The buildings were 'roundish', just as Jiji had promised, and though they weren't palaces or ancient temples or elegant towers, somehow they still took his breath away. Their rooftops were painted in the bright colors of fallen leaves- scarlet and green and teal and gold and orange.

And it was... home?

He was born here, in this village. It was his home. But he felt no sense of familiarity or belonging, only awe.

Instinctively, he turned to Jiraiya for assurance. Moving from place to place his whole life, he'd never really grown attached to any specific area, never made any friendships that could last. He'd always known that he had a place far away, that was 'home'- but it had always been Jiji that gave him somewhere to belong.

Jiraiya looked back at Naruto with a grin. "How about it, kiddo?"

If Jiji was with him, then anywhere was good enough as home.

"Well," said Naruto mischievously. "Bet I can get there first!"

And then he took off running. His godfather, letting loose an impressive repertoire of vivid and creative curses under his breath, followed him just a step behind.


	2. Chaos, Thy Hue Is Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto makes his triumphant-ish return to the village, and havoc ensues. Several bones are picked, responsibilities are dodged, and unlikely acquaintances are made.

The gates of the village were a _lot_ bigger when you saw them up close.

Naruto craned his neck to get a look at the open doors. It was entirely unlike the Hidden Sand, where everything tended somewhere between gray and brown, all the paint stripped off by decades of howling desert winds. Leaf, sheltered by a forest of centuries-old trees, was painted as bright and garish as the the palaces of the far South. The towering oak gates were the color of polished jade, with enormous scarlet brushstrokes forming two parts of a word on either door: _'haven.'_

Jiraiya pushed him forward. "C'mon, brat. If you gape at every little thing, we'll never get inside by sundown."

He gave his godfather an indignant look. "I'm _observing_. Like a good ninja should."

"All right, all right. But let's get a move on."

It was a quiet day at the gates of Hidden Leaf. Naruto could only see one or two other travelers waiting at the checkpoint, whereas on a busy day (Jiraiya had told him) there was an almost constant stream of people requesting travel permits in and out of the village. Trading, visiting relatives, running errands, going on pilgrimages, taking messages, buying medicine, requesting missions: the village was full of people coming and going.

Naruto followed Jiraiya through the gate, still glancing around curiously.

At the checkpoint, there were two chunin on duty. One of the two was gazing off to the side, the picture of boredom. He held a clipboard halfheartedly in one hand and used the other to rest his chin upon. The second ninja was in the middle of a huge yawn, eyes scrunched shut.

The first ninja caught sight of them. He gaped. "Lord Jiraiya!"

His partner snorted. "Yeah, right. Give it up, Izumo. You're not getting me with _that_ one again."

"Shut _up_ , Kotetsu," the first one, Izumo, whispered violently.

Kotetsu glanced over- and sat bolt upright. "Holy _crap_. I mean, uh. Welcome back, Lord Jiraiya! No one- uh, we weren't told you were- um-"

"Oh, for God's sake. Give me the damn clipboard." With one deft movement, Izumo snatched the board and located a pen. He bit down on one end and pulled the cap off.

Jiraiya snorted. "See this, kid? This is the one job you absolutely must not get stuck with."

"How come?"

"Well, not only is it goddamn boring," he explained, with a nod to the still-shellshocked Kotetsu, "But when you start, you'll be known forever as that one ninja who sits by the gate with the clipboard all day, like a mascot or something. _No_ one will take you seriously. Doesn't matter how good you are- it'll be like, make _him_ Hokage? He's just the passport guy."

Naruto cast Izumo a distinctly pitying glance. "Okay."

Kotetsu twitched.

"Lord Jiraiya?" asked Izumo.

"Sorry, just taking advantage of a teaching opportunity." Jiraiya offered a friendly smile. "What'cha need?"

"Two forms of photo identification, your certification code, and your entrance visa should be fine. Also, you need to write your full name here, and then sign next to it and write the date. As for your, um, companion, I take it he's a minor?"

"Yep."

"In which case I still need at least one photo ID for him and one from his parent or guardian. He should write his name down and sign as well, but he needs his parent or guardian to sign for him as well. If they aren't present, we have a waiver form that can be filled out which ensures that the parent or guardian is responsible for the minor's actions during his stay in the Hidden Leaf and that the village is exempt from any responsibility in an incident which may involve any, some or none of the following: injury, death, trauma, loss of personal possessions, temporary or permanent impairment of physical capacities, harassment by civilian parties, refusal to provide goods or services, violation of contractual agreements with any third party, and attacks by any animal, feral or domestic. Also, Hidden Leaf demands the right to press charges for any crime according to the village laws, which may result in temporary or permanent imprisonment, the paying of fines-"

"Okay, signing the clipboard now!" cried Jiraiya in exasperation. "Damn bureaucracy."

Naruto thought Izumo looked a little smug. Well, it was only fair payback.

Now, though, the chunin paused. "Wait, if you're signing for him..."

"He's my godson, not my kid, so you can shut up now," said Jiraiya in a huffy sort of way. "And I'll be borrowing that pen, thanks."

"Uh, right away, sir."

Jiraiya wrote in a large, impressive hand:

THE GREAT AND BELOVED JIRAIYA OF THE SANNIN

To which Naruto added in a messy scrawl:

NARUTO UZUMAKI, KING OF RAMEN

And then, as an afterthought:

VOTE UZUMAKI FOR FIFTH HOKAGE!

Jiraiya took the clipboard back from him and inspected it carefully.

Then he ruffled Naruto's hair. "Nice going!" he said cheerfully. "You've still got a ways to go before you reach my level, but you sure know how to make an impression."

"Whaddaya mean, 'a ways to go'?!" Naruto protested, affronted. "My title is way better than 'The Gray and Balding Jiraiya of the Whatchamacallits'."

"I'm not old, goddammit!" Jiraiya cried. He turned and shoved the clipboard at Izumo. "Here take it. That everything?"

"Two photo IDs for you, one for him, a confirmation code and an entrance visa, sir."

Jiraiya looked outraged. "I'm one of the Sannin! Don't I get to bypass the bureaucracy on account of my legendary exploits?"

"Um, no."

Naruto just snickered and watched the villagers go by.

The Hidden Leaf was _fun._

\--

"Jiraiya! Welcome home. It's been far too long."

"Good to be home, Sensei. Looks like things are going pretty well?"

The Third Hokage was a lot shorter than Naruto had imagined. Also a lot older. Granted, most of the pictures Jiraiya had showed him of the guy were some twenty or thirty years old, and if the Third had taught his godfather then that would make him basically ancient- but he hadn't figured the legendary Shinobi Professor would look so... _frail._

As though guessing his thoughts, the man cast him a keen-eyed look.

He scarcely moved, but for a breath he seemed to flicker, and Naruto felt the brush of something _ancient_ and _powerful_ , like a dragon that had looked him over very thoroughly and- after a moment's deliberation- decided not to eat him. Then it was gone, and the Third Hokage was a bent old man once again.

Naruto gulped and looked out the window.

Nope, not weak at _all._

He got distracted as the adults kept talking about village affairs- he couldn't really help it. He'd always had trouble focusing, even when it was something interesting. It didn't help that they were stuck in a small plain office that smelled like smoke when the rest of the village beckoned him from outside an open window, tempting him to hop out and explore.

On one side of the office, a line of portraits caught his attention, and he squinted at them.

The four Hokages gazed back at him from dusty frames, solemn and silent, like ghosts watching over the village. It was unsettling, and Naruto glanced away. Why were the Leaf Ninja always putting dead people's faces on things? No matter where you went, there was always a picture of some dead hero giving you a disapproving glare. Even on the mountain over the whole village, they scowled down at their descendants for eternity.

As far as Naruto could tell, the mountain faces didn't even look right. He'd scrutinized his dad's image as they made their way through the village, but the grim expression with its furrowed brow and downturned mouth didn't look at all like the faded pictures Jiji had shown him. In the pictures, the Fourth had always been a smiling man with kind blue eyes. Only the narrow face and tousled bangs on the mountain seemed recognizable as the Minato who had been Jiji's student.

Even in his Hokage portrait, Naruto's dad looked... kind of scary.

He shivered and cast it out of his mind.

The conversation had gotten louder.

"I'm not stupid," said his godfather emphatically. "I see what you're getting at. First it's a few extra tasks closer to home. Then it's regular assignments. Then a job in the village. And then, _you_ sneak out from under the hat and the entire council is on my case to become the Fifth."

"Not at all," said the Third with quiet diffidence. "I just think that it be nice if you had a little regularity in your assignments. Perhaps not on your own account, but-"

"For Naruto? He's not stupid, either. He can fend for himself."

"Resourcefulness is not the same thing-"

"But we're forgetting something," Jiraiya interrupted. "You haven't been properly introduced, have you? Mission reports don't quite stack up to the real deal, anyway. So! This is Naruto Uzumaki, my charming brat of a godson. Naruto, this is Sarutobi-sensei."

The Third Hokage smiled. "Of course. The pleasure is mine."

Uncertainly, Naruto ducked a bow. _Is that what you do when you meet the Hokage? Why didn't Jiji teach me any of this- Oh, crap, I probably just screwed up and now he's mad and he'll never let me be his successor and-_

"You're very like your mother," the Hokage said warmly. "It's striking."

Naruto blinked. "Oh. Thanks."

"You know, she also came to this village as a child," he continued pensively. "When she was just six years old, all the way from the Land of Whirlpools. In time, she came to see the Hidden Leaf as her home. I hope you do as well."

After a moment, Naruto nodded hesitantly. "Thanks. I, um. I hope so too?"

"All right, enough chit-chat or you'll fry the poor kid's brain," Jiraiya interrupted. "He's not used to being in polite company."

Naruto huffed.

"Go on and explore the village," suggested his godfather. "We'll be here a while, and I know you're itching to find your way around. I'll meet up with you later."

Naruto didn't bother asking how- practically as soon as he'd had learned to walk, Jiraiya had drawn a tracking seal at the base of his neck. Apparently he'd had a knack for vanishing the moment his caretaker turned their back, only to be found later at the bottom of a ravine or poking at poisonous mushrooms.

"Awesome! Nice to meet you, Lord Third! See ya, Jiji!"

He bounded over to the window and hopped out faster than the Yellow Flash himself, missing both Jiraiya's proud grin and the Third's exasperated groan in his excitement.

Time to see the sights.

\--

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" inquired the Third curiously. "He doesn't know his way around the village."

"Great," said Jiraiya. "Now's the best time to learn."

"But-"

"Relax, Sensei. He's a resourceful kid. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

\--

It was all going so well until the dango hit him in the face.

"Ow!" he yelled- it didn't really hurt, it was more surprise than anything, but still. "What the hell?!"

There was silence.

Bewildered and more than a little annoyed, he reached up and touched the sticky mess that stuck firm in his bangs.

 _Ew_. Like his hair wasn't ridiculously wild already, now he had a bunch of syrup in it- that would be a pain. But he had to get it out of his hair quickly before the stuff hardened.

If he let it, it'd get like cement or something- and the last time something had gotten caught in his hair, Jiraiya'd said it was Naruto's own damn fault and he wasn't about to get stuck with someone else's problem. And when Naruto had protested, Jiraiya had smiled a wicked grin and pulled out a kunai. And then, quick as a flash, he'd taken the dried up gunk (Naruto didn't even remember what it had been) and sliced off the entire mass of Naruto's hair. Naruto'd had to go around looking incredibly lopsided for almost a year before it grew back.

Carefully, he extricated the stick of syrup dumplings from his hair.

Oh, great. Not only was this the stickiest, gooiest kind of dango there was- mitarashi dango- but it was half-eaten. Only two of the three dumplings remained on the stick.

With a sigh, Naruto made to chuck the dango into the trash.

Then paused.

His stomach growled loudly.

 _I haven't eaten since breakfast,_ he thought morosely. _And it's gotta be, like, three in the afternoon. Aw, man, I'm starving._

He glanced down at the dango in his hand.

_It doesn't look dirty or anything._

And then, temptation overcame him, and he popped one of the two dumplings into his mouth.

It was good. Naruto didn't really have dango that often, but this was way better than the stuff he'd had at festivals. He'd gone to a fair few of those, when Jiraiya'd dumped him somewhere for a day or two to go do something else. Since they never had any ramen at the festivals, he'd always had to pick and choose from the food they had at the little stalls. There'd been plenty of dango, and although he'd thought it was okay, it wasn't great. This, though: it wasn't half-bad.

Without even realizing it, he plucked the second dumpling off the stick and took a bite.

And then his world went black as something hit him with resounding impact.

\--

"Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

The two men regarded each other solemnly as the implications of that statement sunk in. Then, their blank gazes turned simultaneously to looks of abject horror.

Jiraiya was out the window in a flash.

It was Konoha, after all.

\--

"You'll pay for that, dango thief!" hissed a female voice somewhere above Naruto's head as he lay pinned on the ground. "Your crime will be repaid with your blood and tears."

Naruto was starting to freak out just a little.

He wriggled and squirmed, but the assailant's iron grip never wavered. He couldn't focus his chakra or anything, and his thoughts were growing dangerously hazy as he struggled to draw breath. The weight of the assailant wasn't much, but it was focused so precisely on his chest that it crushed all the air out of his lungs.

_Rap!_

The pressure on his lungs vanished with the strange sound, and his vision slowly returned to him in grainy specks of light. He rolled to his side, retching and rubbing his throat and taking great gulps of air. After a few moments of this, his vision was restored entirely and the pounding of his head slowed enough for him to think properly.

He was staring into the corner of the alleyway which he had been standing beside earlier.

Wait, her kick had sent him flying that far?

Rubbing his head, he sat up. Someone extended a hand to him.

"You okay?" said the hand's owner with a disinterested yawn.

It was a few moments before Naruto remembered to look up and see whose hand that was, exactly. It was another few moments before he remembered that he'd been asked a question, and a few moments longer than that before he realized that he ought to answer. And then he was trying to remember what the question was, and whether there was something else he'd forgotten entirely.

"See, Anko?" said the hand's owner to someone behind him. "That's why you can't go attacking innocent civilians: you give them brain damage and then you get more paperwork."

"He deserved it!" cried a woman's voice indignantly. "He stole my dango!"

"If he really does have brain damage or trauma or something and I have to write a witness report, I will kill you," said the hand's owner with a charming smile.

Or, well, _not_ a smile.

And then Naruto's befuddled brain made the connection at last.

"You're Kakashi Hatake!" Naruto cried out in realization. "You're-"

(He almost said _Jiji's biggest fan_! but stopped himself in time. Jiraiya was sort of keeping his return to Konoha on the down-low.)

The masked man turned back to look at Naruto curiously.

"Yep," Kakashi said agreeably. "Who the hell are you?"


	3. Making Friends with a Rock (or Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is adjusting to Konoha just fine. It is home to many strange and mysterious things: lots of little kids to make into minions; the ramen of the gods; secret badass chunin instructors; and cool new classmates.

"Yep," said Kakashi agreeably. "Who the hell are you?"

Naruto took the proffered hand and pulled himself to his feet, being careful of his throbbing head and also being careful to keep the nice white-haired man solidly in between himself and the dangerous dango lady.

"Thanks," he said to his rescuer. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow in confusion. Then his single visible eye widened in something approaching shock and he jerked backwards, pulling his hand away in surprise. Naruto almost fell over as his support fell away from under him, but he steadied himself on a nearby wall. His head was not happy with the sudden motion.

"Hey, what was that for?" Naruto complained.

"I-what?"

"That's the reaction I expect after I become the Hokage." Naruto said huffily. "Not before."

The white-haired man blinked, staring at him in some kind of disbelief. Then he smiled and seemed to compose himself. "Nothing. I don't think I've seen you before, though. Shouldn't you be in school right now?"

"Oh, I'm not in school. Jiji said I'd be enrolled at some kinda Ninja Academy for final exams so I can make genin but he hasn't gotten around to it yet."

"Who's 'Jiji'?" asked Kakashi. "Not your dad, I guess?"

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "Ew, no. Jiraiya's my godfather."

" _Jiraiya?!_ "

And then there was a blur of motion as a whole bunch of things happened at once. That 'Anko' chick had been sneaking around Kakashi while they'd been talking, and then she'd lunged at him, and there was a blur of white and the familiar smell of sake and toad oil and a flash of red and a flurry of movement that looked like two people fighting in fast-forward and a cloud of dust and a loud bang.

When the smoke cleared, Jiraiya was there and the crazy lady was pinned to the wall with some kind of epic seal.

"Nice!" Naruto cheered. "You haven't lost your touch after all, Jiji!"

Jiraiya dusted off his clothes and gave Naruto a somewhat exasperated look.

"What?＂the boy asked nervously. "I didn't do anything."

"For the love of _god_ , Naruto. I leave you alone for _five minutes_ while I have a quick conversation with the Hokage, and instead of walking around and sightseeing like a normal person, you manage to locate and piss off one of the most notoriously eccentric jonin in the village and make public the fact of our presence in the village, which I asked you to _keep quiet_. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"There was a flying dango, and I was hungry, and then-!"

"Naruto, do you remember _why_ I asked you to keep quiet about us being here?"

"'Cause it's important tactical information and there could be spies?"

"That too. What else?"

"And... if word gets around you're here, they might make you be Hokage?"

Jiraiya nodded. "I hope you understand the the seriousness of the situation, young man."

"Yes, Jiji," he said, contrite.

Jiraiya ruffled his hair and turned around to face Anko. She was struggling against the inky bonds of the seal which pinned her to the wall, but not quite getting anywhere with it. She was also spitting curses which, luckily for Naruto's pure and innocent ears, were muffled by the binding.

"Look, I don't know what the brat did to you..."

There was another stream of curses, more inventive.

"But you're not allowed to kill him."

"Mmmhfmfmnf?"

"No maiming, either."

"...mmnfmfn..."

"So why don't you go and get some dango or something? If I remember correctly, there's a pretty good place around here. Hey, I've even got a coupon." He produced it from his wallet and dropped it on the ground near the wall. "The seal will wear off in a couple of minutes, if you were wondering."

"I'm really sorry about the dango," said Naruto sincerely. "It was almost as good as ramen."

Jiraiya snorted. "Now you mention it, there's a really good ramen place nearby. We should head and get lunch. And this afternoon, I'll take you to see the Academy and get enrolled, and then someone else can supervise you for a change."

Naruto was gone before he'd turned around.

\--

After lunch, Jiraiya dragged his marginally reluctant godson to the Hidden Leaf Ninja Academy, signed some more paperwork, then took off, leaving Naruto alone in the school's main office with one of the chunin instructors. (He'd actually muttered something vague about needing to get a drink, but from the way he'd been looking at the signs for the hot springs earlier in the afternoon, Naruto suspected that wasn't the only diversion his godfather had planned. _Weird old man_.)

Iruka-sensei, as he'd introduced himself, didn't look the part of head instructor at the Academy. He had a young face, despite the long discolored scar that stretched across the bridge of his nose. Probably he wasn't more than like twenty-five or so. Even more than that, he had an easy smile and gave of the impression of a cheerful, mild-mannered young man.

Naruto considered him skeptically.

In his experience, teaching ninja stuff involved a lot more shouting and telling people _not to touch that explosive tag one more time or it'd take their arm off_. But maybe things were different here.

"Naruto Uzumaki, is that right?"

He ducked a nod at Iruka-sensei's question. "Yep, that's me."

"So what have you studied with your godfather?" The teacher glanced at him appraisingly. "He says you know the basics of the Academy material, but I'd like to hear the specifics from you."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. "Lots of stuff, I guess? Um..."

"Perhaps history?" Iruka prompted. "Or geography?"

"Oh, yeah. Jiji's really old, so he knows practically everything about those old wars and all the famous ninja and stuff- like the battle at Fumishima and the peace negotiations and stories about Princess Tsunade and the Fourth- basically everything like that."

Iruka smiled patiently. "That's a good start. What else?

Scrunching up his nose, Naruto tried to think what sort of things counted as lessons. "Um, he taught me reading and writing and stuff. I can draw maps and I'm good at lying. I can hide my chakra signature, mostly, unless there's a really good sensor looking for me. Oh, and I know all about the mission system and ranks and stuff like that, and I can do a little math?"

"What kind of math?"

This teacher guy was sharper than he looked.

"Um. Multiplying and stuff?" Naruto tried.

"Well, you might have to work on that a little," Iruka suggested. "And what about survival training?"

"What? Like taijutsu?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of wilderness skills. Could you find food and shelter in a forest? Scout the area? Avoid natural pitfalls and set traps?"

Naruto hesitated, confused. "Well... yeah."

"What is it? You seem unsure."

"No, I'm sure," he said quickly. "It's just... do you really have to teach that stuff? Like, in class? Doesn't everyone already know? Forests are easy to camp out in."

"Many of our students have grown up inside the village," Iruka reminded. "They don't have the advantage of firsthand experience. But I'm glad to hear you won't have any trouble. How about hand-to-hand combat?"

"I think I'm pretty good." Naruto shrugged helplessly. "But I mean, I've never really fought any other trainee ninjas, because Jiji says it's not good for diplomacy and stuff. Jiji dumped me with the Myoboku toads and told me to come back when I'd learned kumite. Then he got some street kids to come and beat me up. Not that they really beat me a lot- only the first few times before I got the hang of it."

"He did what?"

"Well, he didn't start until after I turned six."

"... well, that's good, I suppose."

"... and threatened to put explosive tags on his manuscripts if he didn't teach me fighting already." Naruto rubbed his chin meditatively. "Actually, now I think of it, that probably had a lot to do with it."

"... Ah."

"And I can mold chakra, and do transformations and clones and replacements and rope escapes and stuff, plus a couple of other things I picked up from other people. And I know some codes, and I'm good with kunai."

"I see. Is that everything?"

"I guess so," Naruto said after a moment. "He's not letting me sign for a toad summons until I'm older, and he wouldn't teach me any more sealing after the Incident in Tea Country. And he still hasn't taught me any secret techniques because he said they'd get on his case back home if he taught me anything that could kill someone before I even made genin. But I mean, jeez, what's the harm in one little Rasengan, right?

Iruka blanched. "Rasengan? He was going to teach Rasengan to a twelve-year-old?"

"Well, I was eight at the time..."

\--

"Lord Jiraiya," began Kakashi, "As much as I admire and respect you and your work... I think we need to talk."

The Toad Sage sat up, looking wary. "Never thought I'd hear those words from Minato's uptight little brat of a student. What's up?"

"Naruto."

The older man sighed, leaning against a wall and rubbing his eyes. "Yeah?"

"He's Minato-sensei's kid."

"And Kushina's, yeah."

"You've been- what, traveling the world? Spying?"

"Wouldn't be likely to tell you if I was."

"With Naruto."

"Yeah."

"For twelve years. And he really is-"

"Yes."

"And was this some kind of incredibly top-secret plan or something?"

"Huh? Not really. I mean, Shikaku suggested I take him out of the village, and Sarutobi-sensei got authorization from the top brass, or what was left of them after the Nine-Tails attack."

Kakashi's single eye narrowed to a slit. He shifted his body, and the soft sound of rustling fabric resembled, to Jiraiya's practiced ear, the faint ring of many very sharp hidden blades ready to flick out at a moment's notice. His stance was deceptively relaxed, leaned against a wall, but the aura around him seemed to be thickening with tension as the conversation progressed. His arms were casually crossed, but one of his gloved hands fell a little too close to his summoning scrolls for Jiraiya's comfort.

"It was public information?"

"I don't like to publicize what I'm doing, but I guess so."

" _How many people knew_?"

"At least seven or eight were directly informed. Pretty sure most of the council had an idea of it. The Fourth had to have sealed it into something, after all."

Frozen silence.

"So," said Kakashi, and his voice was icy. "I was the only one who thought he was _dead_. Because _no one bothered to let me know_?"

Jiraiya was way stronger than Kakashi, even if the jonin had his Sharingan of mysterious provenance to take advantage of. On any given day, he could probably wipe the floor with him and only barely break a sweat. He was one of the Sannin, after all. No matter what Naruto would say about him 'losing his touch' in 'old age', he was still one of the strongest the village had ever produced.

One look at Kakashi's expression had him running for cover.

He barely made it before the first explosion came.

\--

Naruto waited in the corner of the classroom as the other students filed in from lunch.

A few of them gave him curious glances, but not many. Boys and girls, all around his age, sat at their desks or took out notebooks. One of the boys was twirling a kunai on his finger, and a girl was twining a coil of ninja wire. All of them were carrying shuriken pouches and kunai holsters strapped around their thighs.

It was then that Naruto was struck by the oddness of it all.

He'd never been surrounded by so many kids like him- kids who were training to be ninja and not carpenters or spice traders or pharmacists. He'd always been the oddity, the kid in bright orange who could do funny magic tricks and climb into high-up places without a rope or ladder, the one whose ability to do a standing backflip had inspired something between awe and suspicion in the local children. In turn, he'd been the ignorant one as often as not-- mocked cheerfully for not knowing obvious things like the planting season for rice crops, or how to tie a fishing net.

Making friends had been hard, too, with Jiji always having to move around and keep undercover. He'd gotten used to saying goodbyes and moving on, and what friendships he did make were never really lasting. At the end of the day, everyone else had gone home to their parents or orphanages or temples or back alleys, and he'd moved on to the next town.

But these kids- he'd be connected with at least some of them his _entire life_.

Naruto suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Settle down! Settle down, everyone! Lunch is over, so it's time to be quiet. Lunch is over, Choji, put the chips away now. I said now. Thank you. Ino, get to your seat, please."

There was a moment as the whispers died down, and the students turned to face Iruka-sensei.

"I have an important announcement," Iruka continued. "We'll have a new student joining our class today, and he'll be with us for the next few weeks as we prepare for your genin examinations. Naruto, would you please come to the front?"

Feeling anxiety twist in his gut, he walked over to stand by Iruka.

He could feel the weight of their curious eyes on him, indifferent, evaluation. Well, at least indifferent was better than hostile, and Naruto had dealt with hostile too in the past. Not all villages welcomed ninja, whether they carried a village crest or not. Apathy was much easier to deal with in the long run.

"Would you care to introduce yourself?" the chunin prompted.

_Here goes._

"Hey, I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" he said, pushing brightness and confidence into his voice. "I was actually born here in Leaf, but I've been traveling outside the village with my godfather for basically my whole life. This is all really new to me. I'm excited to hopefully be a genin soon. I like ramen and playing with explosives, and I can fold a mean paper airplane."

There was a pause.

Then the laughter rippled across the classroom.

Naruto let out a breath, relieved, and began to grin in earnest. With the laughter, the quiet tension and scrutiny in the room had vanished, and most of the students were regarding him with amusement.

"Thank you, Naruto. Now, if you'd go and sit down—let's see, in between Kiba and Choji?"

"But Sensei, that's Akamaru's seat!"

"Kiba..."

"Fine." The boy, Kiba, crossed his arms and pulled up his hood, scowling.

Naruto hid his uncertainty, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking up to the third row. He sat down as quietly as he could.

"All right, enough fuss," Iruka said loudly. "Back to work. Today we're discussing some of the laws regulating the borders of major nations, and tomorrow we'll have a written test to review this week's material, so pay close attention."

A rustle of papers and notebooks opening ensued.

"There are a number of factors involved in border relations beyond standard peace-war diplomacy. Security concerns dictate the regulation of patrols and guards, whereas trade and economy is influenced by taxation and travel..."

"Hey," Naruto whispered to Kiba. "Who's Akamaru?"

Kiba glanced at him warily, and then shrugged. "My partner- a nin-dog. But he's at the vet today."

"Really?" The blond boy grinned. "Awesome! Can he talk?"

"Nah." Kiba sounded just a touch smug. "Doesn't matter, though- I'm Inuzuka. There's no breed of dog in the world I can't get along with."

"Inuzuka? That's your clan?"

"Well, duh." Kiba pointed a finger at the triangle marks on his cheeks. "Jeez, you really are new around here- you don't know anything."

He laughed sheepishly. "Oops."

"C'mon, this is baby stuff."

"What other clans are there, then?" ventured Naruto.

"Oh, a lot. Any ninja family with its own set of techniques, basically. Like, they call Ino's family- that's the Yamanaka, by the way- a clan just because they have some wacky mind-reading jutsu and a few generations of ninja, but there's only like four Yamanaka in the force right now, not counting Ino." Kiba smirked a little, showing sharp canines. "The Inuzuka have a whole _division_ of handlers and trackers."

"Who's Ino?"

"The blond girl- there. The one with the long hair."

"So there's the Yamanaka clan, the Inuzuka clan... the Sarutobi clan, I guess?"

Kiba rolled his eyes. "You just don't give up, do you? Yeah, there are a few Sarutobi around. Whole bunch of Hyuga- oh, Hinata Hyuga's there, next to Sakura. They've got a pretty tough bloodline- weird eyesight or something. Shikamaru- he's asleep by the window there, see?- is a Nara, and their thing is shadow jutsu. Choji, on your other side, is from the Akimichi clan. They do body manipulation. Shino's an Aburame, and they do bugs-"

"—bugs?"

"Yeah," said the Inuzuka seriously. "No joke- don't swat flies around that kid. Anyway, that's about it for powerful clans- the Senju are pretty much gone these days, and after what happened with the Uchiha, the Hyuga probably have the most power in the village."

"Uchiha?"

Kiba winced.

Naruto regarded him curiously.

"Look," he said. "I'll tell you about it later. Not now, okay?"

Naruto shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Hey," said Kiba after a moment's reflection. "Guess you probably haven't heard- there's something going on after school tomorrow that you might be into."

"Yeah?"

"You know Sasuke? Top of the class, always scowling- yeah, him. Anyway, he picked a fight with some genin kid. There's gonna be a fight in back of the training field. It should be cool to watch- you should come."

Naruto grinned hugely. "Awesome!"

Then there were two sharp _thwacks_ and two indignant _ows_ and Naruto rubbed his stinging forehead. It felt somehow dusty.

"What the heck?" he wondered aloud.

"Kiba! Naruto! Pay attention and stop talking during class!" Iruka-sensei held up another piece of chalk threateningly.

Okay, Naruto was impressed. That was some pretty amazing aim to hit both of them simultaneously from across the room with something as light as a piece of chalk. Maybe it hadn't seemed like it at first, but Iruka was actually turning out to be kind of badass.


	4. Life Is Like Unsupervised Gambling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the genin exam approaches, Naruto finds his classmates have other entertainment planned: making friends, making money, and facing down an entirely new foe: the written exam.

As it turned out, Kiba was both interesting and easy to talk to.

He and Naruto got along so well, in fact, that Iruka had pelted them with chalk three more times before they'd finally started paying attention. The topic they were covering in class wasn't something Naruto knew too much about- Jiraiya'd dealt with most of the border customs on their trips, and he didn't know the first thing about tariffs or patrols- but Iruka was being considerate enough to not put Naruto on the spot by asking him questions on his first day at the Academy.

Around two in the afternoon, the bell rang, marking the end of class.

"All right, clear out everyone," said Iruka tiredly. "Don't forget to study."

Naruto followed Kiba out into the Academy courtyard, blinking in the afternoon sun.

Interestingly, he spied some students lingering in the courtyard instead of going home right away. A group of younger boys and girls were throwing shuriken towards wooden posts, while two older girls took turns marking pressure points on a training dummy. Others started doing stretches in the shade of a tall oak tree, following a pattern that looked like it came from a textbook, while a tall girl did pull-ups from a metal bar.

Jiraiya had never _taught_ Naruto how to throw a kunai, or set a trap, or build a shelter. He'd picked it up in bits and pieces along the way, like he did with most things. Heck, he'd been bemused the few times when his godfather actually sat him down and told him how to do things he couldn't get on his own- important things like manifesting chakra or checking the stability of the Fox's seal. The idea that those skills Naruto considered facts of life could be studied and graded was strangely off-putting.

Kiba misinterpreted Naruto's glance. "Yeah, there's some training after class. I usually do mine at home, though."

Home...

That reminded him.

"Aw, crap," he groaned. "I just realized I don't know where our new apartment is. I gotta wait 'til Jiji shows up to tell me."

"I'll wait for you," Kiba offered.

"No, it's okay," Naruto refused reluctantly. "I'm not even sure when my godfather's gonna show up, and he isn't the most punctual person in the world. Probably he forgot that I'm here. It'll take him a while to remember."

"If you say so. See you around, then."

"Bye."

With a parting wave, Kiba pulled up his hood and departed down the street.

Naruto hopped onto the wall outside the Academy, kicking his legs absently.

Leaf seemed like a decent enough place so far. Despite the patched roofs and winding tangle of old pipes from building to building, the village was clearly prosperous and peaceful. Civilians smiled and waved at ninja on duty with sincere good will- a surprisingly rare thing in Naruto's experience. Children played in the streets without fear, and everywhere you looked there were bright colors and liveliness. Like the characters on the entrance gate promised, it seemed to be a haven.

At least on the surface, anyway. But whatever dark secrets probably lurked in the shadows of the village, it still had an advantage over most of the other places Naruto had stayed. No one seemed overtly homicidal, like that one kid he'd met in the Hidden Sand.

Would he be happy here?

After a moment of pondering, he pushed that thought out of his head. No point getting all mopey and introspective about stuff like that when he'd only been in the village for a day. He'd figure it out soon enough regardless.

"Hey," called a girl's voice. "Naruto, right?"

Naruto glanced around, and caught sight of one of his new classmates approaching him. It was the pretty girl with long blond hair and blue eyes that Kiba had pointed out to him earlier in class, but he couldn't remember her name off the top of his head.

"Hi," he answered, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Um... sorry, you're...?"

"Ino," she told him.

Oh, that was it. "Yamanaka, right? Nice to meet you."

She smiled. "What are you doing hanging around? Waiting for someone?"

"Yeah," Naruto admitted. "Well- I actually only got here this morning, and the old man forgot to tell me where our apartment is."

"Ouch," Ino sympathized.

"Yep. What are you doing here?"

She went pink. "N-Nothing, really."

Naruto gave her a strange look. "Well, if you say so."

The conversation ground to an awkward halt. Naruto tried to think of something else to say.

Just then, a dark-haired kid- Sasuke, Naruto remembered, right, top student in the class- came around the corner carrying a book bag and glaring fiercely. A few moments later, a group of five or six girls followed him, whispering and tittering in excitement. Naruto had a sudden sneaking suspicion why Ino had chosen to approach him- the gate he sat beside was an excellent vantage point.

As the dark-haired boy passed where Naruto was sitting, Ino turned several shades pinker.

"See you tomorrow, Sasuke!" Ino called.

The boy, Sasuke, didn't even acknowledge her. He just turned the other direction and began stalking away from the Academy.

"Cheerful," commented Naruto. "Isn't he in our class?"

As though surprised to find him still sitting there, Ino jumped a little. "What?"

"That Sasuke guy's in our class, right?"

"Yeah," she answered, eyes sparkling. "He's a prodigy. He's the best in the entire class at taijutsu and ninjutsu, and he's second in the class in all of the academics. He can do shuriken throws with perfect accuracy from fifty feet at a moving target. He practices at lunch, and I've heard he even practices all the time when he's at home. No one's beaten him in a spar in three years."

"Seriously?" Naruto whistled, legitimately impressed. "Jeez, no wonder he's so popular."

"Yeah, Sasuke's amazing."

"Hey, Kiba was saying something about- correct me if I'm wrong- some kinda duel or challenge thingy? Do you know anything about that? It seemed like it was kind of a big deal?"

Ino's eyes lit up in comprehension. "Oh, the spar! Sasuke and a genin got in an argument last week. I don't know the details, but apparently it got really heated and they decided to settle it with a spar. It's after school tomorrow at the Academy, and I think everyone's coming. You get a lot of these kinds of challenges around here, but barely ever with actual ninja- and Sasuke's really strong in sparring, so we think it'll make for a really great show."

"This happens a lot?"

"Yeah," she said, "But mostly between Academy students, and who really wants to watch two eight-year-olds facing off? I mean, it only gets really interesting when they start using ninjutsu and non-Academy taijutsu forms."

"There are Academy forms?"

"Of course. Didn't you ever learn them?"

"Nope," he answered flippantly. "My godfather used the- what did he call it?- 'hands-on approach'."

"That's cool." She looked him up and down thoughtfully. "So, are you any good at taijutsu?"

Naruto considered for a moment. "Well, I haven't fought anyone from Leaf before, so I guess we'll see. I think I'm pretty strong, though."

"Sounds about right," Ino said judiciously. "You're kind of small- no offense- but I bet you could give Kiba a run for his money. Besides, you're pretty sturdy. You look like the kind of fighter who can take a few hits. How fast are you, would you say? Like, are you a spri- _ahhh!_ "

Naruto jerked back. "What? What is it?"

"Behind you! There's a giant toad!"

"Huh?"

Frowning, Naruto turned.

Perched casually on the stone wall, a bright purple-and-orange toad roughly the size of a small cat was sticking out its tongue casually. A corner of a lacy wing fluttered and vanished down the toad's throat in a quick ripple, and Ino made a choked sound of horror.

When the toad saw Naruto, it raised a webbed front foot in greeting. "Yo, kid!"

"Gamakichi!" he sighed, hugely relieved. "What's up?"

"It's _talking_." Ino was pale. "The toad is talking."

"No, no," Naruto reassured her. "This is Gamakichi. He's a Myoboku toad."

"Myo- what?"

"He's a toad from the clan at Mount Myoboku," he explained, in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. "It's cool, they've got a summoning contract with the Hidden Leaf. Besides, Gamakichi's my buddy. He's cool, I promise."

After a moment of hesitation, she relaxed a little. "Oh. Okay."

The toad looked a little miffed. "Not very polite, is she?"

"To be fair, neither are you." Naruto observed.

"Why were you acting all relieved, anyway?" demanded Gamakichi. "It's not like you're scared of normal toads, are you?"

"She said 'giant'," Naruto explained. "I was worried Jiji did something awesome but stupid, like summoning Boss Gamabunta in the middle of the village because he wanted to show off. So I was just happy we didn't have to worry about mass destruction of property."

"You think you wouldn't have noticed if the Boss was around?" Gamakichi asked skeptically.

"I didn't want to rule out the possibility," he defended. "It is Jiji we're talking about. What are you doing here?"

"Jiraiya sent me to bring you back to wherever it is you're living now."

"Oh, right." Naruto grinned. "Thanks."

"I swear," Gamakichi said, rolling his eyes. "If you'd just stay on Myoboku with us, you wouldn't have to do this silly moving around thing. And then you could learn the toad techniques and hang out with me all the time. I don't see why you're going to some stupid Ninja Academy. The toad bosses could teach you to be a better ninja than any humans ever could."

"Sorry," Naruto apologized. "But I'm really not a fan of caterpillar dumplings."

"Yeah, instead you eat ground-up plant pulp. _Humans_."

"Ramen is the food of the gods, blasphemous heathen! Anyway, where's the apartment?"

"North. I think. Cities get me confused."

"Okay, let's get going, then." Naruto turned to Ino and waved. "See you tomorrow, Ino. It was nice talking to you."

"Bye, human girl!" called the toad.

"Good... bye?" said Ino tentatively.

And off they went, boy and toad, arguing companionably and ignoring the many strange looks from civilian passersby. Then they turned a corner and were gone, leaving Ino alone by the academy gate, struck dumb by the sheer peculiarity of the Academy's newest student. It didn't take her long to recover- of all the things in the ninja world, this was hardly the strangest.

It seemed that the genin exams would be more interesting than she'd thought.

\--

"So, what do ya think, kid?" Jiraiya spread his arms wide in the center of their new apartment. "Not a bad place, I'd say."

Naruto considered. "It's... really awesome, actually."

It _really_ was- especially compared to what they were used to.

There was a big living room with a wide glass door and balcony that faced away from the Hokage Monument- no need to see Mountain-Head Dad glowering down at them all day, excellent. Instead there was a view of the entire village stretching out to the north. What was more, it looked like you could go to the balcony and hop out that way instead of going down the stairs.

Naruto had his own bedroom, too. It was strangely big, or perhaps just too empty- he was used to squeezing into small rooms at local inns with his giant of a godfather, or else sleeping under the stars.

After glancing around for a moment, he'd placed his rucksack on a shelf in the closet. The thing was, Naruto just didn't have much stuff- a few changes of clothes, his kunai and shuriken, a rarely-used toothbrush, and his Gama-chan wallet. There wasn't any point owning more than he could carry around in a pinch, not when there was a good chance he and Jiraiya would have to clear out of town in the middle of the night. Jiji usually carried the rest of their supplies in a storage scroll, but even with that included, they didn't have a lot.

"Always the tone of surprise."

"Well, it's totally better than the place we stayed in Wave. Not as awesome as Tea Country by a long shot, but at least there's a lower chance of crazy axe murderers hiding in the closet." Naruto considered. "Wait, _have_ you checked the closets?"

"Not bad at all," Jiraiya agreed, ignoring the 'closet' remark.

"Yeah, how come this one's so big and clean an' stuff? I thought tiny dumpy places were more our style."

"Sarutobi-sensei rigged this up for me," his godfather explained, sounding a touch rueful. "Rent's pretty nice, too. It's probably all part of his plot to get me to stick around in the village so he can convince Tsunade to come back or something, the sneaky old man."

"Pot and kettle, _sneaky old man_."

Jiraiya crossed his arms. "Who raised you to be so disrespectful to your elders?"

"Gamakichi!"

"Probably true," Jiraiya conceded.

"But I guess this place is pretty neat."

"You've got your own bedroom! What more do you want?"

Naruto grinned. "That is definitely a bonus. I don't gotta share with a smelly old man anymore!"

"Why, you damn brat!"

Naruto dodged the swatting arm and hopped back. "Hey, look, you can see the sunset!"

The window was just wide enough to see; the sun was sinking down past the horizon, tinging the sky pale yellow and orange. Naruto always liked sunsets- they were more vibrant and interesting than sunrises, brighter colors and deeper striations.

Jiraiya turned to watch, contentment warming his features. "Been a while since I've seen the sun setting on Leaf."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Naruto shrugged. "I guess."

"It's more beautiful that way."

"If you say so," the blond boy said doubtfully.

Sunsets were nice no matter where you saw them. You were looking at the sky, not the buildings on the ground. But hey, Jiji was old and wrinkly so Naruto figured he had the right to be mysterious and sentimental sometimes.

They stood side by side as the rays of the setting sun faded to soft blue and violet.

"I'm going to sleep. G'night, Jiji."

"Night, kid."

Naruto turned, heading down the dark hallway, and tried to remember which was his room. When he found it, he didn't bother turning on the light. He just flopped down on his futon in the dark and curled up under his covers. It took him awhile to get to sleep without the soft, rumbling sound of Jiraiya's snores from beside him, but he was tired and he managed.

\--

"Dunno," Naruto admitted sheepishly as he and Kiba walked into class the next day. "I've never taken a written test before."

"What, never?" Kiba demanded. "How come?"

"Uh, my godfather taught me, but usually he never tested me on anything. Usually he'd just ask questions while we were walking. Or like when he taught me to make explosive tags, and I didn't pass until I'd figured out how to make one that could put a fair-sized dent into a boulder."

"You make your own explosive tags?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Most of us just buy 'em in packs from the store, man." Kiba shook his head. "What, you make your own kunai, too?"

Naruto rolled his eyes and shoved the brown-haired boy. "Whatever."

"Lucky, though, never having to go to school. Written exams suck."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but sometimes you can get away with bluffing. Iruka-sensei's tougher to trick than Suzume-sensei, though."

The two boys meandered into the classroom. Most of the rest of the students were already in their seats, and Iruka-sensei stood in the front of the room with a stack of papers in his hands. He cleared his throat, and Naruto turned and headed to his desk. Kiba followed him as well.

He was... a little nervous.

But it would be fine. He wasn't dumb, he could read and write and it wasn't a math test, so there probably wouldn't be anything too hard that he couldn't answer if he thought about it reasonably. His only enemy here was his nerves. As long as he kept himself calm and did his best, there wouldn't be anything to worry about.

He flipped over the paper.

And peeked at the questions.

_Answer the following questions in detail, using specific examples to support your claims where possible. Responses should be roughly 6-10 sentences except where indicated otherwise._

_**Question 1:** Identify the four aspects of chakra, with respect to three of the upper chakra centers._  
_**Question 2:** Define the sixteenth shinobi law and evaluate its application in an escort setting._  
_**Question 3:** To what extent is the collision of dissimilar factors evident in the interaction of major chakra paths?_

Naruto stared at the paper in increasing dismay.

Quickly, he scanned the rest of the sheet. There were seven questions in total. There was only one of them ("Describe in detail the changes in government of small shinobi nations after the Peace Accords ending the Third Great Ninja War") that he thought he could even hazard a guess at based on what Jiji had told him about Grass and Waterfall.

He looked around.

Kiba was already writing, though he was squinting, evidently deep in thought. A few of the other students seemed to be having trouble, but not many. Naruto took a breath and picked up his pencil.

_Here goes nothing._

\--

After the test was over and Naruto had put the whole ordeal firmly out of his mind, the rest of class went pretty smoothly, all things considered.

Alas, Naruto discovered, the novelty of public education was quick to lose its shine. By the last half of class, he wasn't even trying to listen to the lecture (something about geometry, ugh), just doodling absently on one corner of his notebook. It was a little like what he imagined it might be like to sustain an acute head injury- very foggy, nonlinear, Iruka-sensei's voice echoing and reverberating but not forming meaningful words.

Finally the bell rang, and class ended, and there was freedom, blessed freedom at long last.

"Naruto!" called Kiba. "You're coming, right?"

The Inuzuka was watching him expectantly, hands in his pockets, bag slung over his shoulder. Two other boys from their class were standing beside him, both giving Naruto curious glances.

"Coming where?"

Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me you forgot already," he said, exasperated. "Uchiha's fight."

"Oh, right!" Naruto hopped up from his desk, newly energized. "Where's it gonna be?"

"The old training field behind the storehouse. You should come with us, I can show you how to get there." The Inuzuka snorted. "God knows you'd probably get yourself lost finding it on your own."

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, and this is Choji and this is Shino." Kiba jabbed a finger in the direction of the other two.

There was a moment of hesitation as Naruto tried to remember which name went with which boy, based on Kiba's hurried summary the day before. Shino was... the boy with the sunglasses, he was pretty sure, and also had something about bugs? And that would make the round-faced boy with the brown hair Choji. Hopefully.

"Nice to meetcha," he said diplomatically

"I am likewise pleased to make your acquaintance," said maybe-Shino. Maybe-Choji nodded politely.

"All right, let's go. I want to get a good spot."

"Do we know who Sasuke's fighting?" Naruto asked as they left the classroom. "I heard it was a genin, but that's a pretty broad category to be picking from, right?"

"Not a clue," Kiba replied. "I think it's someone around our age though."

"I believe," said yes-that-was-probably-Shino in a low voice, "That Sasuke's opponent is Neji Hyuga, currently assigned to Team Nine. Last year he graduated from the Academy at the top of his class."

"So he's only a year older?"

"Yeah," said Kiba, "but that could mean he's actually stronger. I mean, anyone who stays genin past eighteen is just pathetic because if they were decent they'd have at least made chunin. But if he only just graduated, he could be really tough but just not have had the chance to be promoted 'cause he hasn't held rank long enough."

"Oh, that's true."

"I have indeed heard," Shino added, "That Neji Hyuga is quite proficient in combat."

"And didn't you say something about him being from a big clan?"

"Huh?" Kiba said in surprise. "Oh, right. Yeah, I dunno for sure, but I think they have some kind of eye technique. Probably isn't a big deal, though- the more powerful the bloodline, the harder it is to activate. It takes years of training to get full control over stuff like that, and this Neji is, what, thirteen?"

"So how tough is Sasuke?"

Kiba made a face. "Pretty tough. The guy trains like a maniac."

"You ever beat him?"

"Not since we were kids."

"Yeah, Ino said it's been, like, forever since he lost one."

"Forever? Well, definitely a while. I mean, Shino, Choji, and me are normally around the top five of the class at taijutsu and maybe top ten in ninjutsu. Sasuke's been top of the class for something like three or four years. Even before that he wasn't easy to beat."

"Man, how much does he practice?"

"A lot," Choji contributed. "He studies a lot, too."

"Is top of academics, too?"

"No, that's Sakura Haruno for sure. That girl's crazy smart- and just crazy. She doesn't even need to study but she does it anyway, god knows why. Her personality's a little weird, though."

"Whatcha mean?"

"All the girls are crushing on Sasuke," Kiba said mournfully. "She and Ino have some crazy competition going. You think they're perfectly normal, and then Sasuke walks in the room and it's like throwing steak into a pack of puppies."

Naruto winced.

"Well, all the girls except Hinata. No one's really sure what her thing is."

They rounded the corner of a dilapidated-looking shed that was probably some kind of storeroom, and reached a small open area surrounded by the Academy walls and cut off from the chunin instructors' line of sight by the angle of the shed. It wouldn't be visible to anyone unless they came right to the entrance. Several other kids- Academy students, based on their shuriken holders- were already milling about excitedly.

Ino saw them coming and waved. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey, Ino," Kiba answered. "What's up?"

"Clearly the most dramatic challenge for months," Ino said enthusiastically. "Wanna place a bet?"

"What are my odds?"

"So far its a 3:1 on a Sasuke victory. We also have some pools running on first hit, how long it will take, and what kind of ninjutsu they'll use. In general the odds favor Sasuke, but the information we have on the opponent shows he's a tough customer."

"What information is that?"

"Well, you may have heard that the opposing genin is Neji Hyuga, an older cousin of Hinata. However, Ami sneaked a look at the mission records in Iruka-sensei's office, and it seems like he's been on two C-rank missions already. And I had a chat with Hinata- she said Neji's easily twice as strong as her in close combat. Given Hinata ranks third in taijutsu, it would seem that he's not to be taken lightly."

"Wait," interjected Naruto. "You guys have a _betting pool_?"

"Well, really it's Ino in charge..." Kiba explained. "But yeah. So what?"

"So that's awesome! Let me at it!"

Ino's eyes lit up. "Excellent! We've got bets running on all aspects of the fight, from the first ninjutsu that they'll use to the ultimate outcome of the match. Which do you want to call?"

Naruto rubbed his hands together. "All of them."

She grinned. "I like the way you think."

\--

Fifteen minutes later, what seemed like the whole academy was crammed in the small space behind the storage shed.

Ino had her books out and was scribbling furiously as everyone tried to place a last-minute. The littlest kids were sitting on the fence to get a better view, and the older kids had pushed their way to the front. Naruto was sitting off to the side with Choji and Shino, and everyone else was jostling around to find a place to stand.

In the middle of the chaos, two boys stood facing one another.

Neji Hyuga was taller than Sasuke, and looked a little more muscular, though it was hard to tell. His eyes looked strange, wide, without pupils as far as Naruto could see, paler than Ino's. The expression on his face could only be described as a smirk. By contrast, Sasuke seemed to have a permanent scowl affixed to his head, regardless of the situation.

"Are you crazy, man?" asked Kiba curiously. "You can't bet on everything, there's no way you'll net positive."

"I have good luck," Naruto explained.

"No one's luck is that good."

"Hey, look, they're starting."

An older-looking girl with brown hair in twin buns was standing beside Neji and Sasuke.

"Jeez, Neji," she muttered. "I can't believe you're actually making me do this. Like it wasn't enough that you had to go and provoke a fight with an Academy student? If Gai-sensei found out about this... Well, you'd better win, for one thing. But if you beat up a kid, that's even less 'youthful' than losing, isn't it? And I'll _totally_ have to do whatever stupid training he gives us."

"Start the fight, Tenten," Neji ordered.

"My teammates are all insane," she sighed.

" _Tenten_."

"Okay. We're about to commence the fight between Sasuke Uchiha, challenger, and Neji Hyuga. I'm Tenten, and I'll be acting as your impartial judge this afternoon."

There were some skeptical grumbles.

"Are both combatants ready to begin?"

Neji nodded. Sasuke grunted.

"Fine, fine. Victory is decided by surrender or incapacitation. No severe or lasting injuries will be tolerated. Non-lethal weapons are permitted. Are there any questions?"

She paused a moment, but the silence stretched.

"All right. Ready, _start_."

At the wave of her hand, both boys leaped back.

They _were_ quick. Not as quick as Jiji when he got serious, but definitely equal to Naruto's top speed.

"This battle is pointless," the Hyuga said quietly. "Whether you win or lose, the outcome is as it was fated to be."

"I don't give a damn what you think is fate," spat Sasuke.

"You are a prodigy. However, I too am what they call a genius, and for the sole reason that I have been on this earth one year longer than you, I have the advantage here and I will be victorious. You cannot win."

"Shut up."

Naruto wondered what the Hyuga had done to get Sasuke so worked up. Granted, from what Naruto had seen, Sasuke couldn't be described as 'amiable' under the best of circumstances. Nevertheless, Sasuke's tone was biting in a way that couldn't be attributed to any kind of casual dislike. No one seemed to quite know why they were fighting one another, but it had to be some kind of pretty offensive insult to lead Sasuke to challenge Neji and Neji to accept.

Sasuke lunged. There was a flurry of blows- each opponent testing the other's reflexes.

There was a sharp sound of impact and the two jumped apart. It was hard to tell, but it looked like Sasuke had gotten the first hit in, since Neji no longer looked quite as smug.

Someone tossed shuriken- Sasuke, probably, based on the angle. Neji neatly deflected them with a kunai, and they studded the ground. Neji sidestepped a kick, seized Sasuke's ankle and dealt two swift blows to the back of his knee that left the younger boy staggering back, evidently in pain and unable to place weight heavily on that leg.

 _Must have been bad,_ Naruto noted. _He's staying out of reach now._

Neji was advancing now, smirking again.

"Go, Sasuke-kun! Beat him! Fight!" came a shrill cry from behind Naruto's left shoulder.

There was an explosion of similar cries as what seemed like the entire female population of the Academy joined in. It wasn't only girls, of course. All the Academy students, male or female, were eager to see one of their fellows take down a genin. Naruto wondered vaguely whether it mattered that they liked or disliked Sasuke, or whether it was just a solidarity thing.

Although Sasuke didn't seem to take particular note of the cheers, he did begin circling.

"You cannot escape fate, Uchiha," Neji intoned. "And you cannot escape defeat."

" _I said shut up!_ "

"I can see through your deception. _Byakugan_." Suddenly, the veins around the Hyuga's eyes bulged as if with immense strain, and something withing his eyes seemed to grow sharper.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed; he hesitated, stepped back.

"You are within the range of my divination," Neji said, and the words fell like lead into the air.

Everyone, from the youngest seven-year-olds to the nearly-genin, male and female alike, fell into a hush. Not a blade of grass seemed to stir. The utter focus of everyone present was on the immense tension between the strongest student at the Academy and the genius genin activating his bloodline. A thread stretched tight, and a feather-light razor balancing on the exact center.

And then...

"What, exactly, do you think you're doing?" came Iruka-sensei's very _very_ calm voice.

And the thread snapped.

\--

There was dead silence in the old training ground.

Iruka-sensei, evidently alerted by the cheering and chatter, had come to investigate. He had rounded the corner that normally sheltered the clearing from sight at any other angle, and he had on hand braced against the side of the storage room. His voice was calm. Too calm. On his face was a smile so fixed it might have been carved out of stone. A single vein pulsed dangerously on his temple, and his right hand was ever-so-slightly trembling.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei!" said Ino with a too-bright smile. "Did you wanna come watch us practice?"

" _Practice._ " Iruka's voice was drenched in sarcasm.

"Yeah! Neji and Tenten offered to help us practice taijutsu for the genin exam."

"I see." Iruka scanned the students, eyes lingering on the seven- and eight-year-olds. "A little premature for some of these onlookers, wouldn't you say, Miss Yamanaka?"

"That's why they're in the back," she explained, gaining confidence. "We didn't want them to get hurt."

"Practicing taijutsu... with shuriken?"

The ground was indeed still studded with Sasuke's deflected shuriken.

"We, um, were being creative?" she tried uncertainly.

"Of course." Iruka-sensei sighed. "Ino, Sasuke, I want to see you in my office after this. Tenten, Neji, you're not under my jurisdiction anymore, but if there are any more unauthorized 'training sessions' in the future, I will contact your jonin instructor and request that he discipline you in my stead."

Neji blanched. "...Yes, sir."

Tenten muttered something that sounded like 'told you so.'

"The rest of you, you have ten seconds to make it like you were never here."

They were gone in eight.

\--

"That had to have been rigged," said Kiba decidedly. "Or someone tipped you off before hand. That's gotta be it."

"Why would you think that?" Naruto asked, honestly confused.

"How else would you have known to bet what you did? That's ridiculous!"

"I have really good luck."

"Good luck isn't enough to explain that outcome."

Naruto shrugged. "You don't have to believe it, as long as I win."

"I just can't believe this." Kiba threw up his hands. "I'm done."

Naruto turned to Ino. "Do I get my winnings from you?" he asked.

"You have some crazy luck, my friend," Ino said seriously. "Well, with 1:43 odds, your bet that Iruka-sensei would intervene and end the match cashes in to a total pot of 732 ryo. Even with my five percent, you've got yourself a pretty fair sum there."

"Thanks," Naruto said cheerfully. "Time for a ramen splurge!"

"Still- how _did_ you know?"

Naruto just grinned.


	5. The Penultimate Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya puts forth an ultimatum, and Naruto seeks aid from an unlikely source. Sasuke has a grudge, Hinata has a friend, Akamaru has suspicions, and Naruto finally gets those minions.

"Hey, Jiji..." Naruto began, apprehension written all over his face. "I kinda need to talk to you about something."

Jiraiya looked up from the table where he was seated, surrounded by crumpled and ink-smudged drafts of a half-finished manuscript. In his head, he ran through all the potential things that could cause that precise combination of guilt, faint embarrassment, and obvious reluctance in his godson.

"Did you get a girl pregnant?"

"What? NO!"

"Well, that's a relief," Jiraiya said seriously. "I thought you were too young for that kind of thing, but you can never quite tell with ninja."

"No, it's kind of... um..."

"Ah. I see now." Jiraiya adopted a knowing look. "Listen, kid. At a certain time in a young man's life..."

"I don't mean _that_ ," Naruto said in exasperation. "You really think I need _that_ explained after proofreading all your manuscripts?"

Jiraiya winced. Though he had utmost confidence in his childrearing skills, it did seem a little imprudent in retrospect to have had Naruto reading the rough draft of _Icha Icha Violence_ when he was only eight. But the kid was good at editing, and it was such a pain to do it himself... it built character! Probably.

"Is it the fox?"

"No," Naruto assured him. "Its as obnoxious as ever, but the seal's fine."

"Okay, I give up. What's the problem?"

"I kinda, um..." Naruto made a face. "I kinda failed my first test ever."

Jiraiya glanced up in surprise. That was unexpected, and a little worrying. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't tell me there was a written exam!" Naruto burst out.

Jiraiya blinked.

"An' I went to class an' Iruka-sensei said we were gonna have to take some kinda written test, and I looked at the paper and it was all stuff I didn't know! So I tried, but none of it made any sense and I failed. Iruka-sensei said it didn't matter, he wouldn't count it for my class grade, but there's gonna be a written test on the genin exam and I have to pass it to be a ninja, and everyone else's been studying this for years and I only have a month!"

"Calm down, Naruto." Jiraiya stood up, took the blond boy firmly by the shoulders, and steered him onto the couch. "Go through it again, more slowly. Don't freak out."

Fortunately, Naruto wasn't high-strung by nature, and before long he'd mustered his self-control.

"There was a test in class. I didn't know anything on it. I have to learn it all before genin exams." Naruto looked torn between outrage and misery. "There's no way I can do that!"

"What was the test on?" Jiraiya had thought he'd prepared the kid for just about anything they'd throw his way.

"Chakra theory. And laws and stuff."

"Really?"

"No," Naruto said bitterly. "Not really. This is all a big _joke_."

"Sorry," Jiraiya corrected. "That wasn't what I meant. But that's not too bad. I can teach you chakra theory, and laws are easy to memorize. There's no need to be so upset."

"Why do I even need to know all this anyway? Isn't it more important to know how to fight?"

"I think there's a proverb. Um, 'Little oaks dream skyward-' no, maybe 'The sun alone does not-'... Hang, on, I know this, it's on the tip of my tongue..."

"Never mind," Naruto said hurriedly. "It's no biggie."

"No, wait-"

"It's fine!"

Anything to avoid a _proverb._

\--

_...thus, the spiritual Energy, which is formed of the celestial life force and the terrestrial life force, the collusion of yin and yang, feminine and masculine, flows through the human body in perfect paths aligned with the soul. The paths manifest at tenketsu, where the energies pool together and resonate. The greatest of the tenketsu are chakras, which hold domain over aspects of existence and are strengthened through mindfulness and unity._

Ow.

Naruto groaned from where he lay on the floor, skimming through the scrolls his godfather had found for him.

"Jiji!" he called, voice muffled since his head was laid in his arms. "A little help here!"

"What's up?"

"Ugh." Naruto sat up and gestured groggily. "The whole thing. Do I have to remember all of this? The aspects, and the frequencies, and the balance of energy, and all?" He flopped back to the ground. "It's not like anyone actually needs to know all of this, anyway."

"Oh, is that what you think?"

Naruto glanced up, aware of his godfather's dry tone. "Isn't it true, though?"

"Do elaborate."

"I can mold chakra, I can use it in my jutsu. I'm not perfect at that, but if I'm gonna work on control, I should be focusing on chakra meditation, not study! This is like- history, or something. It's okay to know it, but I'm not exactly going to run into any enemy ninjas and have to recite the aspects of the greater chakra centers, am I? It's like something researchers should know."

Jiraiya snorted. "That's a fine attitude, if you want to be a chunin for the rest of your life."

Naruto seemed considering; still, he crossed his arms over his chest. "But why do I hafta learn it now? Can't that wait until I'm better at fighting? It isn't like I could invent any new techniques, or at least not anything good."

"You did pretty well with the the Transformation..."

"That's an E-rank jutsu, Jiji."

"So?"

"So I'm twelve. Don't play dumb, old man. Twelve-year-olds can't even power any decent jutsu. It takes too much chakra."

Jiraiya sighed. It was a fair point. It was hard to remember sometimes that even though his smart-mouthed brat was resourceful and inventive, and he might have more chakra than most kids, Naruto was still an untrained ninja who had to deal with all the inconveniences of his age. Thanks to his Uzumaki inheritance and the added energy of the Fox, he had a frankly ridiculous amount of chakra, but he only had the ability to access and control a tiny fraction of it.

"Tell you what, kid," he said. "You're almost right about that."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"No, hear me out. It's true there aren't many jutsu available to you with your current level of control and skill. You are, after all, pretty damn weak compared to someone like me. Sad, but true. But there is one kind of technique that's a little more accessible for someone with your modest abilities."

Naruto looked up suspiciously. "What is it?"

"Sealing."

It was true. Seals required a lot of training and forethought, but if you could inscribe the right parameters, you could take as long as you needed to charge them with chakra. All you had to do was tell the seal what to do and it would obey. Most ninja just bought explosive tags and storage scrolls from the store, where ninja craftsmen imbued them with the chakra necessary to function. Jiraiya didn't hold with that kind of namby-pamby idiocy, so he'd taught Naruto how to make his own. Jiraiya could write and charge a seal for an explosive tag in about two seconds. When Naruto was seven, it had taken him a month. Lately, the kid could manage a couple every day.

"Yeah, 'cept there's this grumpy old guy I live with who _won't teach me sealing_. Real helpful, Jiji."

Oh. Right.

A few years ago, Jiraiya had placed an official ban on all sealing practice, after some experimentation in which Naruto had nearly blown off his own head. And even in retrospect, it still seemed like a good idea to keep Naruto away from anything that could seriously hurt him if he messed up. But then, he was about ready to take the genin exams, and there wasn't anyone Jiraiya'd rather pass on his sealing techniques to than his godson. Naruto wasn't too studious, but...

"Tell you what," Jiraiya said, making up his mind on the spot. "I'll teach you sealing on one condition."

Naruto spun around. "Really!?"

"You're supposed to ask about the condition, you know."

"Well, what is it?"

Jiraiya grinned and struck a dramatic pose. "I, the great and beloved Jiraiya of the Sannin, shall teach you the noble art of fuuinjutsu- if and only if you, Naruto Uzumaki, can achieve the highest score on your chakra theory exam."

Naruto scowled. "Oh, come on! That's ridiculous!"

"I will brook no argument. This is my decision."

"Jiji, the other kids have been studying this stuff for years! I only have a couple of weeks to pick up the stuff they've been studying since they were seven! It'll be a miracle if I pass that portion of the exam, let alone beat everyone else! Sakura Haruno spends hours on bookwork every day, she's miles ahead of everybody else in theory and control."

"Then you'd better ask her for help, hadn't you?"

"Very funny, Jiji."

Jiraiya just raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding."

\--

"Hey, you're Sakura Haruno, right?"

Sakura glanced up from her notebook with a frown. "Can I help you?"

The kid looked vaguely familiar- wild blond hair, blue eyes, bright orange T-shirt. He was short, with six whisker-like marks on his cheeks, like triple quotes on a huge grin. It took a moment to place that face- the transfer student. Natsu? Nawaki? She couldn't remember the name. Na- something, she was pretty sure.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Mind if I sit down?"

She shrugged. "Not really."

"Great!" He flopped down into the seat beside her. "So, Sakura, I kind of have a favor to ask you."

"A favor?" Sakura closed her notebook and raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Rumor is," Naruto lowered his voice conspiratorially, "that you're taking the top scores in every academic subject."

"It's not a rumor," Sakura pointed out. "The scores are posted on the board behind Iruka-sensei every month. You could have checked that for yourself, you know."

"Really?"

"Yes. Was that the favor?"

"Not exactly." Naruto took a deep breath. "Would you, um, maybetutormeforthegeninexam?

"I'm sorry?"

"I, um... I'm a little behind the rest of the class on topics for the written exam," Naruto admitted. "I was wondering if you could, maybe, help me study? Since you know the material so well?"

"Me?" Sakura was honestly surprised. "Why haven't you asked an adult for help?"

Naruto blanched.

\--

_"The thing you have to remember is that chakras are like women," Jiraiya said casually. "Each one has its own quirks, and you have to know how to flatter them, what kind of flirting they like and what kind of thing makes them want to slap you- in the bad way."_

_Naruto gazed at his godfather in frank horror._

_"And let's not even get started on all the tenketsu," Jiraiya added. "Although now I think of it... Naruto? Where'd you go?"_

\--

"Naruto?" Sakura prompted.

The blond boy blinked, and then shook his head. "Um, I'm not great at learning from scrolls. And I asked a couple of other people, but they weren't very helpful."

Sakura looked at him askance. "Are you sure you're taking this seriously?"

"What?"

"I'm not about to waste my time tutoring you if you're not going to give it your all."

"I give everything my all," he answered her, a little affronted. "That's my ninja way."

"You aren't a ninja yet, you know."

"Which is why I really need your help. Please!"

She gazed at him a moment more, then seemed to relent. "Well, I guess it'll be helpful to me if I review before exams. As long as you put some serious effort into this, I guess I could teach you. When did you want to study? I'm busy before school."

"Lunch, or after school?"

"Your decision."

"Lunch, then. Thanks so much, Sakura. You're a lifesaver!"

She rolled her eyes and smiled wryly. "Whatever."

\--

Sasuke Uchiha was, he liked to think, a very even-tempered, disciplined individual.

He was not the sort of person to get riled up without good reason. He had certain priorities in his life. One, kill Itachi. Two, restore his clan to its former glory. Three, eat tomatoes. Four, become stronger, though that was mostly for the sake of the first three priorities. Overall, these priorities were not prone to much variation, though occasionally #3 managed to wedge itself between the first two.

But anyway.

Sasuke did not, as a rule, care about other people, unless they were involved in achieving his goals.

And then Naruto Uzumaki came along.

What was _with_ that guy?

Sasuke had pegged him as an idiot at first glance, and his lackadaisical manner and choice of associates (namely, Kiba) had only provided further support for that hypothesis. So Sasuke had decided to ignore him. No muss, no fuss, end of story.

And then he'd heard from Ino.

Sasuke had seen Naruto at the spar, of course. He'd just completely ignored him, the same way he'd ignored everyone else in the audience. And then after The Unthinkable Happened, he'd wound up in Iruka-sensei's office next to Ino, cursing his own stupidity and his opponent and everyone else involved. He had absolutely not been sulking, incidentally.

And Iruka-sensei lectured them, and then let them go.

Ino piped up about ' _I just can't believe it, the odds were 45:1, and it wasn't even an option, how could he possibly have known?'_

Sasuke (in retrospect, he wished he hadn't) asked The Question.

Ino had answered: "Naruto Uzumaki."

So.

Sasuke liked to think of himself as more or less indifferent to other people.

And then came Naruto Uzumaki.

\--

The wind blew softly through the branches of the oak tree, and the sun cast dappled light through its leaves. The Academy courtyard was full of children, all older than five and younger than thirteen. Mostly they were occupied with running about and getting into trouble, with exams a far-off imagined prospect. Only a very unlucky few were burdened with schoolwork on the pleasant, warm afternoon. They carried notebooks and scribbled halfheartedly at blotted papers, all the while casting wistful looks at their carefree classmates.

Among them, Naruto cheerfully bounded over to where Sakura Haruno waited under the shade of the ancient courtyard oak. She held a textbook in one hand, and a boxed lunch in the other, and raised an appraising eyebrow at the blond boy.

"Well," Sakura sniffed. "At least you bothered to show up."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Naruto assured her. "I've got a lot riding on that final exam. So, what are we going to start with?"

" _You_ are going to start by going through my notes and marking everything you don't understand," Sakura replied primly. " _I'm_ going to eat my lunch."

Naruto stifled a sigh. "Okay."

She gave him a notebook and a pencil. With a sinking feeling, Naruto flipped the notebook open and began to read.

"Hey, Naruto!" Kiba was walking towards them. "What's up?"

"Studying." Naruto grimaced.

"What? Why?" demanded the Inuzuka. "Exams aren't for a while."

"Remedial work," interjected Sakura. "Apparently he's behind the Academy curriculum, so he asked for help."

"Aw, that sucks."

"I guess," Naruto answered, glancing cautiously at Sakura.

She didn't look especially offended. "Not my problem."

"Hey," Naruto said suddenly. "What's that on your head, Kiba?"

"Huh? Oh, this is Akamaru," Kiba explained. "He's my partner, remember? I told you about him a few times."

"Right," Naruto nodded.

"Akamaru, this is Naruto Uzumaki," Kiba introduced. "He's in our class now."

The small white puppy glanced at Naruto. Then it wiggled, hopped down from its perch atop Kiba's head, and approached him cautiously. It sniffed at him- then, with a bark of alarm, scrambled back behind Kiba's back. It growled at Naruto, then whimpered at Kiba and tugged at his sleeve urgently.

"Is something wrong?" Naruto asked in concern. "Looks like he's upset."

Kiba frowned. "I dunno."

Akamaru barked again.

"Huh, I think he feels threatened," Kiba noted. "Are you some kind of assassin in disguise?"

"Not last time I checked."

"Own any cats?"

"Nope."

"Maybe you just smell bad," suggested Sakura dryly.

"Maybe," said Kiba uncertainly. He picked up Akamaru and tucked him under his jacket. "It's okay, buddy, I don't think you have to worry about Naruto."

"I guess I shouldn't ask to pet him," Naruto observed.

"Probably not," Kiba admitted. "Weird, though. He doesn't usually get worked up over strangers."

"Maybe he'll get used to me," Naruto offered. "Hey, Sakura, what's 'copacetic' mean?"

"'Orderly.'"

"Hey, I think the Uchiha's looking over here," Kiba observed. "I wonder why?"

"Eep," said Sakura, and turned scarlet.

Naruto turned. "Hey, you're right. I wonder why- oh, never mind, now he's looking away."

"I wonder if he's still annoyed he lost the match."

"Sasuke did not lose," Sakura said icily. "You're just jealous he had the guts to get up and try."

"Whatever," Kiba said, though he looked a little stung. "At least I know better than to go around challenging genin to spars. That Hyuga was one tough customer."

"Hinata's cousin, wasn't he?" Naruto asked.

"I think Ino said something about that."

"We could ask."

"Sure." Kiba raised his voice. "OI, HINATA! CAN WE TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?"

A small, dark-haired girl with pale eyes jumped at hearing her name bellowed across the courtyard. She glanced around and saw Kiba waving at her. She looked positively terrified as she picked up her lunch box and made her way across to the oak tree where Sakura, Naruto, and Kiba were seated.

"C-can," she squeaked, barely audible, "Can I help you with something, K-Kiba?"

"Oh, we were just talking about Sasuke's fight- Neji Hyuga's a relative of yours, right?"

"I-I, u-u-um..."

"You can sit down if you like," Naruto offered. She was clearly apprehensive, and he thought this might take a while longer, especially if she was having trouble getting her words out.

"Th-thank you," she said, flinching as though he'd yelled at her.

"Hey, no stress," he told her, trying to keep his tone light and reassuring. "It's cool to finally meet you, by the by. I saw you around the classroom, of course, but never really got the chance to introduce myself. I'm Naruto."

"Ah- I'm Hinata. B-but you knew that." She flushed, and ducked her head. "Pleased to meet you."

"Yeah, same."

"So, we were curious," Kiba said. "You're a Hyuga, so you're related to that Neji guy, right?"

"N-Neji-niisan is the s-son of my father's younger brother," she affirmed.

"Oh, so you're cousins. What can you tell us about the techniques he was using?"

"U-um," Hinata began, looking a little more confident than before. "I was not at the match. If you could describe the techniques he used, I could p-perhaps explain them to you..."

\--

Sasuke Uchiha had _not_ been spying on that Uzumaki kid.

If his eyes had drifted in the direction of the oak tree during lunch, it was purely coincidental. He could look wherever he pleased. It made no difference whether the current object of his curiosity was sitting beneath it, in the unlikely company of Sakura Haruno, Kiba Inuzuka, and Hinata Hyuga. He didn't have to defend his actions to anyone, least of all himself.

He was, however, having a harder time justifying it to himself when he followed Naruto on his way home from school.

Sasuke hadn't intended to follow Naruto the whole way. Actually, he hadn't intended to follow him at all. He'd been walking back to the Uchiha compound, somewhat absentmindedly, when he noticed the Uzumaki chasing a little kid in a scarf and an enormous orange frog and a cardboard box.

He'd wondered if it was some kind of bizarre genjutsu.

It wasn't.

\--

"I'm Konohamaru, and I'm gonna be the Fifth Hokage!" proclaimed the gap-toothed kid.

"Look, kid!" Naruto shouted. "Just get down from there or we're both gonna die."

The kid laughed maniacally from where he was perched precariously on the second-story balcony of an apartment building. His scarf rippled ominously in the wind. Nearby, a cardboard box was tipped over and the other two kids, a girl and a boy, were looking considerably more nervous than their fearless leader.

"Whatever!" shouted Konohamaru. "You're just saying that because I'm the grandson of the Third!"

Naruto craned his neck to keep the kid in view. "I'm saying that because Jiji would totally kill me if I let you get squished!"

"Good luck," said Gamakichi glumly. "The kid's got a death wish."

"I will prove my strength once and for all! Then everyone will have to make me Hokage!"

"Shut up already!" Naruto frantically ran through his options. A substitution was his best bet, but if he messed up they'd be in trouble. He might accidentally startle the kid into tripping off the balcony, and he couldn't be sure the other brats would cooperate.

"Yep," Gamakichi nodded. "We're doomed."

"Crap!" What a time for a pessimistic toad. Why were responsible adults only around when it was inconvenient?

But he had to do _something._

"Need help?"

Naruto didn't even question the sudden appearance of Sasuke Uchiha. Instead, he heaved an internal sigh of relief, cracked his knuckles ominously.

"Hell, yes."

\--

Five minutes later, all three of the kids were safely off the balcony, one of them had sworn loyalty to Naruto, two of them were hiding under a cardboard box again and pretending to be a rock with spectacular ineptitude, and Gamakichi had poofed off to Jiraiya to report that all three were successfully detained and in relative safety. All was well.

"What the hell was that?" asked Sasuke.

"I have no idea," Naruto replied cheerfully. "But apparently I now have minions."


	6. The Unlikely and the Unaware

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adversity brings together all kinds of people, and nothing more so than a looming exam. Kakashi's undecided, Kurenai's ecstatic, Asuma's apathetic, and Iruka just can't wait until the whole thing is over.

A change had come over Academy class 301.

Those thirty children, formerly so laid-back and even cheerfully recalcitrant, had been transformed. The atmosphere was so thick with tension you could cut it with a blunt kunai. There was no horseplay in the classroom, before or after lessons. There was only the sound of thirty pencils scribbling frantically in thirty notebooks as thirty students tried in desperation to recall the difference between Takigakure and Kusagakure and the year in which the treaty had been signed to establish peace between the two.

It wasn't just history, either. Students stayed after class for hours to practice sparring, and attendance was something like 90% at the chakra control meditation classes, even though they were optional. For once, Sasuke wasn't the only one who could be seen running laps around Konoha at the early hours before dawn, and with all the students flocking to Sakura for extra help, Naruto could only be relieved that he'd gotten to her first.

Naruto had to admit- it was nice to feel he wasn't the only one in over his head.

Of course, he didn't have much time to gloat.

"Naruto! Are you listening?" demanded Sakura. "If you aren't going to study, I have better things I could do with my time."

"I'm listening, really!" He hastened to assure her. "Um, we were... talking about the implications of... chakra... energy..."

She gave him a stern look.

"...I'm sorry," he said abashedly. "I'm just really tired."

Her faced softened, but only a little. "I'm tired too, you know. With tutoring you at lunch, I have to stay up even later than usual to keep up with my review schedule."

"Sorry."

"I was discussing the implications of the physiology of the two main lateral chakra pathways in terms of chakra aspect."

Naruto winced.

Sakura caught it. "May I remind you that this is the same question you missed on the first test _and_ the review quiz, and there's a high probability that you will be seeing it on the final?"

Naruto just looked at her helplessly.

Sakura rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Look, it's easy. Just _remember it_ , okay?"

"I'll try."

Sakura nodded approvingly and began reading. "'Early texts on what was then called 'the spiritual arts', explicitly refer to these main conduits, calling them the 'rivers of life'. They describe a pure cord of evenly balanced energy passing through the body from the crown of the head to the base of the spine: 'the form of Sun and Moon, and Fire and Water also.' Extending from the right and passing downward along the torso, the yang-oriented conduit is mirrored by its opposite in both space and energy-"

Naruto groaned, and buried his face in his hands.

\--

Fifteen miserable minutes later, Sakura declared she had to go back inside for an extra chakra meditation session- no one could fathom why, since she had the best control out of any of them. Naruto collapsed into the grass beneath the oak tree as a sympathetic Kiba and Hinata looked on. The pages of many notebooks fluttered in the gentle spring wind, the warm humming world oblivious to the boy's suffering.

"I'm doomed," Naruto announced hollowly.

"Cheer up, man," said Kiba. "I only understood about half of that, but you're good enough at history and stuff to pass the exam. You'll be fine."

"Y-you can do it!" Hinata assured him.

"It's not just passing the exam that's the problem," Naruto explained miserably. "It's this chakra theory stuff, I'm terrible at it."

"Why does it matter?" Kiba asked. "My ma says you mostly don't need theory, same as you mostly don't need computational physics or fortification training or navigation. You can still be a ninja if you're bad at chakra theory, or you can just learn it later instead of worrying about that kind of thing now."

"It's my godfather."

"Thought you said he wasn't all... you know, picky about academics."

"No, but he promised me something really important. But he says I have to earn it- and he'll only let me if I do really really well on this stupid chakra stuff." Naruto trailed off, groaning.

"Aw. Sucks."

"Yeah."

"I-," Hinata began and then paused. _Maybe I shouldn't- but Naruto looks so upset..._ "I, um..."

Naruto tilted his head to face her.

"I, um... maybe I can help you!" She blurted out.

The blond boy smiled but didn't look very convinced. "That's nice of you, Hinata, but I think I just have to memorize it on my own."

"N-no," she said quickly, feeling her cheeks grow warm in embarrassment. "I think that maybe I know why you're having so m-much trouble understanding the theory."

He glanced up. "Really?"

"Yes." She fought to keep her voice steady. She would _offer_ , and if Naruto said no, it would be fine, she'd be okay with that.

"So what's the problem, then?" Kiba asked curiously.

"Chakra operates on some very s-simple rules." Hinata pressed her fingers into the grass to steady her nerves. "If you understand why it works the way it does, I think it will be easier f-for you to remember everything."

Naruto looked doubtful. Hinata braced herself for refusal.

"I guess I could give it a try," he said smiling. "Thanks, Hinata."

She looked up, disbelieving. "Really?"

"Yeah."

The bell rang.

"Um, tomorrow, then."

\--

Jiraiya observed his godson with amusement. The boy was regaling him with some bizarre tale about his adventures in the village, gesturing wildly with his chopsticks and flinging some good portion of his rice across the table.

"And then, just when Gamakichi is about to try to secure the little pigtail girl, that Sasuke kid shows up out of nowhere and _bang_ , easy as pie we get them both off the balcony and then I turn around to thank him and he's gone! Like a ninja!"

"Oh?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"No, no. Do go on."

"Well, I don't know what his deal is, but I'm glad he showed up. I kinda wanna try fighting him one of these days. He held his own pretty good against a genin, until the end when-" Naruto cut himself off guiltily. "I mean, um..."

"Unsupervised gambling again?" Jiraiya snorted. "I _thought_ the ramen fund was looking a little low before last week."

"As long as I keep winning, what's the big deal?"

"You mean, 'as long as you don't get us thrown out of the village by angry casino managers', right?"

"Yeah, that."

"Tsunade could learn a thing or two from you." Jiraiya mused. "Don't tell her I said that."

"I'll be sure to."

"Brat."

"Old man."

"Say, I thought you'd be a little more concerned about that genin exam," Jiraiya observed casually, by way of retribution. "How's that going for you? You don't need help, do you?"

To his surprise, Naruto glared fiercely. "Not in a million years! Get ready to make good on your promise, Jiji!"

"Oh? How about that."

"You're gonna teach me fuuinjutsu whether you like it or not!"

Jiraiya smiled. "We'll see."

\--

"All right!" Iruka-sensei bellowed. "Settle down, everyone. Sakura, put away your notes, this is taijutsu, not history. Shikamaru, wake up already."

The whispers fell to a hush.

"Good. Today we're going to have you practice fighting in pairs."

There was a sudden sussuration as a dozen girls whispered "Sasuke-kun!" at about the same time.

"Pairs who will be assigned _randomly_ ," the chunin instructor emphasized. "Sit down, Ino."

In the end, Sakura was assigned with Choji, Hinata was assigned with Ino, and Kiba and Sasuke were each assigned with students Naruto was unfamiliar with. Naruto was a little disappointed that he wouldn't get to be on a team with any of his new friends, but of course ninja couldn't fight with friends all the time. Just another opportunity to meet new people, he assured himself.

"...Naruto Uzumaki and Shikamaru Nara..."

Naruto glanced around uncertainly and noticed a droop-eyed boy with a ponytail waving at him halfheartedly.

"Are you Shikamaru?" he asked.

"Yeah." Then, as if an afterthought, the boy stuck out a hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Same here. So, are you good at taijutsu?"

"...Not especially," Shikamaru answered without a trace of shame. "But I think we'll do okay. If I had to guess, I'd say fourth place out of fifteen."

"Really? Why?"

"Ugh, what a pain. You ask too many questions."

"Then, who do you think will do the best?"

"Sasuke Uchiha. Followed by... Hinata and Ino. And third place is probably Kiba's pair."

"Are Hinata and Ino that good?"

"No."

"So...?"

"Jeez, you're annoying." Shikamaru gave him an exasperated look. "Could you not?"

"That's my last question, I promise!"

"Whatever. Hinata's the third overall in taijutsu and the top female. Ino's sixteenth overall and seventh female. Kiba tops both of them and his partner is better than Ino but worse than Hinata but she and Kiba are both dominant personalities and will spent the better part of the time arguing with one another. Sasuke is, of course, the best- his partner is nothing special but he'll stay of the way and let Sasuke control the fight."

"Wait, you don't think we can beat Kiba's team?"

"No more questions. Also, I'm going to ask you to listen and do exactly what I tell you to do. Okay?"

"What? That's not teamwork!"

Shikamaru gritted his teeth like he was fighting off a migraine and wanted to go to sleep. "Fine. I'll _tell_ you my plan, and then you'll _agree_ with my plan because it will be better than the plan you come up with. I wanted to skip the step where _you_ come up with a plan because it would just waste time, but since you're so insistent I'll have you listen to my plan and _then_ decide whether to come up with your own."

"Fine." Naruto said firmly. "Let's hear this plan of yours."

\--

They went with Shikamaru's plan.

After the exercise, when Iruka-sensei was reading out the scores, Shikamaru didn't look at all smug.

He could have been, though, as Iruka sensei called out the top five: "Sasuke and Tenichi, first place. Hinata and Ino, second place. Kiba and Kumi, third place. Shikamaru and Naruto, fourth place. Shino and Masami, fifth place."

Naruto turned to mouth _How did you know?_ to his bizarre teammate.

Alas, Shikamaru was already asleep.

\--

The day was cool and cloudy, when the four of them- Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, and Sakura- met under the oak tree in the courtyard for lunch. With the wind picking up a little, it looked as though a storm was approaching. However, it hadn't yet begun to rain, and the students were permitted to go out into the courtyard for lunch until it did. Perhaps because of the oncoming storm- or perhaps for another reason- Akamaru was still on edge and fidgety, especially around Naruto.

"Oh, you're going to help Naruto study?" Sakura repeated. "That's a huge relief. I don't have time to be going over the basics right now, it'll be great to have lunchtime to review for myself."

"Just you wait," Naruto retorted. "I'll surpass you someday soon!"

"Shush, I have to copy this passage," Sakura replied, and in a moment was lost to the world with her nose in a book, scribbling furiously.

"So, Hinata, where are we starting?"

"W-well, I don't know if you know this, but my family's eye technique- the Byakugan- allows us to see very differently. When it's activated, w-we can see close to 360 degrees, for up to almost a mile away, and even th-through solid objects. The Byakugan can also see chakra pathways."

Naruto whistled. "Hot damn."

"No kidding," Kiba interjected. "That's crazy strong."

Hinata nodded, intent. "The reason I mention it is b-because the Hyuga teach a form of t-taijutsu which uses this ability to target ch-chakra pathways. That is wh-why we are all trained in chakra th-theory when we are very young, beginning at just two or th-three years old."

Naruto's face fell. "You're kidding. _Toddlers_ learn this stuff?"

"N-no!" Hinata said hastily. "I didn't- I mean- I..."

"Nah, it's okay. I knew I was behind, I just... I guess I didn't know how far behind."

"But they teach it to us differently!" she said, startled. "Not at all like the Academy. It's very simple, how they teach the children."

"Go on?"

Hinata nodded and composed herself. "There are rules that ch-chakra follows, all the time. Once you learn the rules, it's easy to understand why chakra acts the way it does. The first rule is the existence of 'tao': harmony that you can find in energy, and in the world. Tao is found in the balance between day and night, feminine and masculine, sky and earth. Naruto, what else do you think might make tao?"

"Um, light and dark?"

"Yes!" Hinata said happily, forgetting her embarrassment. "What else?"

"Summer and winter?" Kiba suggested.

"Water and fire?" offered Naruto.

"That's exactly right," Hinata said, pleased. "In other words, 'tao' is formed when two opposite forces balance each other. In physics, this is the third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

"I... guess that makes sense. But... chakra?"

"W-well, tao is balance," she explained. "If tao is zero, it is balance between the positive and the negative forces. You know these forces as 'yang' and 'yin'."

"Oh..." said Naruto in dawning comprehension.

"Yang is the positive: summer, warmth, light, the creative, the action, the sky. Yin is the negative: winter, cold, darkness, the receptive, the reaction, the earth. When you have both, all elements are in balance, and we have 'tao'."

"I guess that makes sense."

"So, Naruto," Hinata said, smiling softly, "If chakra is 'tao', what are the yin and yang?"

Naruto began to grin slowly. "Spiritual energy and physical energy."

"And if the central chakra path is the 'tao'?"

"The secondary conduits!" Naruto sat straight up. "I think I get it! Hinata, you are brilliant! Does everything work like that?"

"U-um," Hinata stuttered, startled into blushing. "W-well, not everything. B-but that is the basis of all chakra understanding. Yin and Yang are the basis of the eight trigrams, which in turn are the basis of the sixty-four hexagrams. They are the elements which bring unity to the world and to the individual."

Naruto's grin could have blinded her. "Hinata, you are _amazing_."

She flushed. "You are t-too kind..."

"No," Kiba interjected. "That was really good. I've never heard it explained like that before."

Even Sakura looked up from her notes and nodded approvingly.

Hinata couldn't hide a small smile.

_I helped Naruto-kun_ , she thought to herself. _And I was good at it. I'm not useless. I can help._

\--

MEMO: Kakashi Hatake

You have been assigned to be a jonin instructor for a genin squad beginning May 30.

The following list may be subject to change. Under such circumstances, you will be notified 24 hours in advance.

Your team will consist of the following individuals:

_Sakura Haruno_

_Sasuke Uchiha_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

"Crap," said Kakashi.

Around the mail room, other jonin were showing similar signs of irritation. There were at least six or seven other similar memos that Kakashi could see. Other ninja were checking their boxes. One or two looked disappointed to find they hadn't received the orange slip, but most looked hugely relieved. Of the ninja who had gotten assignments... well.

"You too, huh?" Asuma said gloomily.

"Yeah."

"That makes it, what, your seventh team?"

"Yeah."

"Sucks."

"Pretty much."

"How did you manage to fail six teams in a row without getting chewed out for it?"

"Trade secret."

"Think you'll do it again this year?"

Kakashi winced. "I'll do my best."

"You got an A-team, didn't you?" Asuma said knowingly. "It was only a matter of time."

"Who'd you get?"

"Same. It's my fourth, so I guess Dad is getting serious."

"Sucks."

"Yeah."

The two stood in companionable misery. Asuma was smoking a cigarette, to the irritation of the chunin mail room clerk. It was something he usually avoided except when he got a really hopeless mission- that clerk was a pain when he got irritated. Kakashi could sympathize. Some teams you could get away with failing. Some teams... you couldn't.

"Oh my god!" came an excited cry. It was Kurenai Yuuhi, new jonin, looking positively ecstatic. "I can't believe it! I got assigned a genin team!"

Everyone turned to look at her. Their expressions ranged from pity to condescension to sheer disbelief.

_No one _was happy to get a genin team. Like, ever.__

__"Congratulations, Kurenai," said Asuma, successfully toning down the irony in his voice._ _

__"First team, I take it?" Kakashi asked blandly. "Congrats."_ _

__"I didn't think I'd get one this year," she confessed, smiling brightly. "I can't wait to meet them!"_ _

__"Don't get too excited," Kakashi advised. "You might get reassigned if they don't pass."_ _

__"He's right," admitted Asuma. "There's still the genin exam."_ _

__\--_ _

__The day before the genin exam, Iruka didn't bother trying to hold class._ _

__The eyes that looked up at him from thirty stressed-out faces were bleary and even bloodshot. They'd had two girls and one boy suffer a nervous breakdown in the last two days, and he wasn't about to tempt fate again. He'd considered having guided chakra meditation classes to calm everyone down, but they were so fidgety it'd be a waste of time._ _

__"If you want to practice taijutsu, come with me out to the training fields," Iruka decided. "Suzume-sensei can help you practice your ninjutsu next door. If you're studying for the written exam, you can stay here and review individually or in groups."_ _

__There was a rush as three-quarters of the students headed for the courtyard._ _

__Unfortunately, kids preferred to practice the things they were already good at, rather than the things they needed to improve upon. Most of the weaker students chose to stay in and study things they already knew, and most of the stronger students chose to go outside instead of studying the things they couldn't remember. Most of the students assumed that because they could create the minimum number of clones required for the exam, they didn't have to bother studying ninjutsu beyond that._ _

__Ironically enough, Sasuke, Kiba, Naruto, Hinata, and Shino- the top five taijutsu students- chose to stay inside._ _

__"Why are you in here, Sakura?" Naruto asked curiously. "There's no way you could be worried about passing the written exam."_ _

__"Of course not," she said scornfully. "But I'm going to get mediocre scores for taijutsu no matter what I do. At this point, the only concern I can address immediately is the chance of maximizing my score for academics. I'm using my time efficiently to obtain the greatest increase in my final grade in the time I have remaining."_ _

__"Wow," Naruto said, impressed._ _

__"Crazy," Kiba corrected. "As long as you pass, why does it matter?"_ _

__Sakura glared. "I'm not satisfied with just passing."_ _

__"Whatever." Kiba shrugged._ _

__"W-would you like to review?" Hinata offered._ _

__"Sure!" said Naruto. "Kiba, wanna study with us?"_ _

__"I guess."_ _

__"Then I w-will ask you questions from the review sheet," she said. "What do you want to study?"_ _

__"Anything!"_ _

__"I'll start w-with an easy one. 'Give the names of the H-Hokages in order.'"_ _

__"Hashirama Senju, Tobirama Senju, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Minato Namikaze!" they chanted together._ _

__"Then... 'In what year was the Leaf first established?'"_ _

__"Identify the two main groups involved in the bloodline purges of the Hidden Mist."_ _

__"Name the diplomatic event which signaled the beginning of peace negotiations in the Second Shinobi War."_ _

__"Name the four noble clans of the Leaf."_ _

__"Aw, crap," muttered Kiba. "I might be able to guess, but..."_ _

__"Hyuga?"_ _

__Hinata blushed but nodded._ _

__"I know it isn't Inuzuka," Kiba contributed._ _

__"Senju?"_ _

__"No, Senju w-was the founding clan."_ _

__"Aburame, Akimichi, and Uchiha," came the voice of Sasuke Uchiha._ _

__The three of them stopped and turned in surprise as the dark-haired boy approached their group. Kiba was gaping in astonishment, Hinata looked tentatively confused, and Sakura began blushing furiously and buried her face in her notebook with a squeak. Only Naruto seemed relatively unaffected._ _

__"Is that right, Hinata?" he asked curiously._ _

__"Oh, y-yes, it is," she said hurriedly. "Um. Th-the next one is, "Describe the relationship between shinobi and shamanic tribes in Wind Country.'"_ _

__And so they continued._ _


	7. Thou Shrieking Harbinger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What better way to inspire values of loyalty, ethics, and diligence than by setting superpowered twelve-year-olds at each others' throats? The genin exams are on, and they are Serious Business.

Naruto woke to darkness, and a feeling that something was wrong.

Blearily, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. A glance out the window showed the sky pale lavender near the horizon, but the sun had yet to rise. The village was still quiet. Not many windows were lit, and only a few green-vested ninja could be seen traversing distant rooftops. Yet he couldn't stifle a feeling...

He shook his head and slipped out of bed.

There wasn't any point in going back to sleep-- at the very least, he could get breakfast and then do some last-minute studying for the exams. The floorboards were cold under his bare feet as he padded down the hallway to the kitchen and the living room.

Except there was already someone there.

"Naruto? What are you doing up?" Jiji sounded... distracted?

The blond boy blinked, then squinted.

Jiraiya was in the living room, fully dressed. A scroll was unfurled on the table- a messenger hawk perched on the balcony. The white-haired man scribbled something on the scroll with one hand and rolled it shut with the other. He was frowning like something had gone wrong that he hadn't expected.

"I dunno. I- Why are you up?"

"It's nothing. Just something Sarutobi-sensei needs me to help with." Jiraiya waved a hand at the messenger hawk.

"I had a weird feeling," Naruto said uncertainly. "Like something isn't... isn't..."

"There's just a bit of a situation. I'll handle it in no time."

"What situation?"

"It's not anything to do with you. You should go back to sleep."

"No, I have school."

"Oh, right." Jiraiya slipped the scroll back into the hawk's harness. "Listen, I've got to go. Turn off the lights before you head out."

He reached out a hand and ruffled Naruto's hair.

Naruto swatted it away. "What was that for?"

"Good luck on your genin exams, kid."

Jiraiya grinned, then turned on his heel and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Alone in the strange new apartment, Naruto shrugged and headed into the kitchen to fetch something to eat. _I'll need a lot of nutrients an' stuff to keep my energy up,_ he mused. _Better be ramen._

\--

Naruto paused outside the door to the classroom.

He was prepared. He'd put on a clean T-shirt and even combed his hair. He'd sharpened his kunai and detangled his wire and studied until even Sakura acknowledged the effort he was putting into it. He'd recited old laws and treaties until his throat was sore and Jiji was telling him to pipe down already, some of them were trying to sleep. He was ready.

He took a deep breath.

"Oi, move it already," came an irritated mutter from behind him. "Really- oh, hey, Naruto!"

"Hey, Kiba," he replied bleakly. Then he realized he was still blocking the door. "Oh, sorry."

"No problem," the Inuzuka said easily, following him to their seats. "Ready for the exam?"

"Sure."

"You don't look too sure," Kiba observed. "You look like you're about to puke."

"Do I?"

"I can't believe you have testing anxiety. You're pretty chill about everything else."

"At least the written exam is first."

"Oh, Naruto!" Sakura caught sight of them and trotted over. "I wanted to wish you luck. You've worked pretty hard for this."

"Thanks," he said weakly. "Um. You too. You look pretty happy, by the way."

Oddly enough, she did. She was impeccably neat- not a hair out of place, nor a single wrinkle in her red dress. But she was smiling more brightly than usual, and all her movements were animated with extra energy.

"Of course. This is what it's all for, you know," she reminded him.

"I thought it was for when we're ninja?"

She rolled her eyes. "I swear, you people."

"What?" Naruto asked defensively.

"I'm from a civilian family. Becoming a ninja isn't something I can take for granted."

"But you're top of the class. There's no way you'd fail, right?"

"Probably not," she admitted. "But most of the civilians drop out before they take the test. Ninja gear is subsidized, but it's not cheap, you know. A lot of kids' families can't afford it."

Naruto glanced at Kiba curiously.

Kiba shrugged. "Don't look at me. I get my stuff from the clan."

"Once you become an official ninja, prices go way down," Sakura explained. "Konoha doesn't want its soldiers ill-equipped. I'll bet ninja from your clan buy the gear cheap and keep a store for Academy students."

"Well, that's not cool," Naruto argued. "They should make it cheap for civilians, too!"

"Don't be silly," Sakura said. "It's one thing to provide weapons to military personnel and something else entirely to provide weapons to anyone who comes to Konoha. Civilian merchants could buy them cheap and sell them to other countries."

"It's still wrong," Naruto insisted. "Anyone should be able to become a ninja."

"It's not like I can't-"

"That's not the same." He fixed her with a look. "Listen! Me an' you gotta both become awesome ninja, and we'll do something about that when I'm the Hokage."

She snorted. "Whatever you say, Lord Fifth."

Naruto grinned. "That's the spirit."

\--

A little distance away, Hinata watched the three classmates that she'd gotten to know over the last few weeks chatting amiably.

Should she go over and wish them luck?

Would they think she was interrupting?

Maybe she'd better not.

She buried her face in her hands and tried not to think about the exam.

\--

The minutes ticked by.

Sakura went back to her seat. The other students were filing in and conversing in low voices. Some of them looked confident, others excited, and still others horribly pale with nerves. Naruto caught Hinata's eye and gave her a grin and a thumbs-up. She started, then made a timid smile in return. Kiba started making a tower with his and Naruto's pencils.

Waiting.

Fifteen minutes became a half hour, and still there was no sign of Iruka-sensei. All the students had found their seats and the conversation fell gradually to a hush, and then to silence. The sound of footsteps in the hall made everyone turn their heads, only to turn back as the footsteps faded into the distance. Someone coughed. The sound echoed oddly in the silent room.

Waiting.

"I thought the test was at seven o'clock sharp?" Naruto muttered to Kiba.

"That's what I thought, too."

Waiting.

The clock at the front of the room ticked. Naruto wasn't great at reading clocks or anything, but he was pretty sure the long hand pointing down like that meant it was something like seven-thirty. Iruka-sensei wasn't usually this late. Especially not on such an important day.

Waiting.

"You think this is part of the test?" Kiba asked. "Like, seeing how we react to a problem?"

"Maybe," Naruto said doubtfully. "Or seeing how well we'll follow instructions in a weird situation?"

"What if there's really something up?"

"Actually..." Naruto frowned as something occurred to him. "There might be."

"You know something?"

"Maybe not. But... my godfather had to go out and handle some kinda situation. He didn't say what it was."

"Is he a jonin?"

Naruto considered this. "Um, I guess so. He does some sorta 'unconventional' missions."

"Must be serious, then. Usually they send chunin out for village affairs."

"Probably."

"So... what do we do?"

"I think they'd tell us if something was going on."

"Yeah. Let's wait."

And they waited.

At precisely 7:55, the door slid open.

Iruka-sensei glanced around the dead-silent room of students and raised an eyebrow. All eyes were on him, silently demanding an explanation. With a sigh, he shut the door behind him and walked over to the podium.

"Sorry about the delay, everyone. Thanks for being so patient; we'll start the exam directly."

He seemed to pause uncertainly, then added:

"Suzume-sensei is the assistant proctor today. I'm afraid Mizuki-sensei had something come up. Now, let's get started- I'll be passing out the exam books..."

\--

Sakura finished first, even though Naruto knew she'd probably checked and double-checked her answers. She stood and handed her paper to Iruka-sensei at the front of the classroom, then headed out to the courtyard to wait for the second exam.

Shino was second.

Naruto was third.

He threw down his pencil triumphantly, fighting the urge to cheer, and practically skipped his way to Iruka-sensei. The chunin instructor gave Naruto a congratulatory smile. He felt like he was on top of the world, giddy with excitement. Forgetting himself, he ran to the courtyard door.

In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have tackled Sakura with a giant bear hug.

She elbowed him in the eye and stepped on his foot before she realized who, exactly, had accosted her. Then, when she realized who it was, she stepped on his foot again and swatted him over the head.

"What was that for, you lunatic?" she demanded.

"Thank you so, so, so much," he blurted out. "For all the help you gave me. You're the best, Sakura."

"Thanks to me?" She sounded skeptical, but her voice was warmer. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I couldn't have taught you anything if you hadn't tried so hard. You learned years of material in weeks- that takes effort."

Naruto grinned so wide he thought his face might split. "I guess I am pretty awesome, huh?"

"Don't you get a big head, now," Sakura told him. "Look- here comes Hinata!"

"Hinata!" He launched himself at her before Sakura could warn him.

The Hyuga squeaked, and, flinching, slammed an open palm into his chest. Naruto went flying back several paces and landed in a heap on the ground. For a moment they were all three silent- Sakura rubbing a temple in exasperation, Hinata blinking in realization, and Naruto coughing his lungs out in the courtyard dust.

"You idiot. Who jumps a Hyuga?"

"N-N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata turned scarlet. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was you, I'm sorry-"

"...ow."

\--

Iruka loved his job.

After all the catastrophic events of that morning, teaching the Academy students was comforting. They had so much promise, and sometimes he really believed that they would become great ninja, despite their infuriating antics. And they were growing up: Hinata was overcoming her shyness; Ino was settling down; Naruto had made huge academic improvements. Now they were all entering the ninja world and becoming adults.

After leaving Suzume-sensei to correct the papers, he'd headed out to the courtyard where thirty prospective genin watched and waited.

"Congratulations on finishing the first stage of the exam. Now we'll begin on the second stage: we've constructed a basic obstacle course outside the practice field. You have one chance to complete it within the time limit. After that, we'll be testing your stealth and kunai techniques and asking you to demonstrate rope escapes. Then there's the survival test. Are there any questions?"

\--

They finished in time for a noon lunch break.

The exhausted older students sat slumped in the courtyard. Some of them were tiredly picking at their lunches; others had already wolfed down what food they had. They were spattered with mud, and some had torn clothing. One or two were soaking wet- Sakura was slowly extricating leaves and twigs from her hair, and Kiba was scraping mud out of his sandals with a twig. Even Sasuke Uchiha looked worn out.

The younger students whispered and pointed.

Genin exams seemed so cool until you had to _take them._

"Sheesh," Naruto moaned. "They aren't going easy on us at all."

"Too tired to talk," Sakura mumbled.

"Can't believe we have to spar after this," Kiba grumbled.

Hinata sighed.

All too soon, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch hour. Iruka clapped his hands, and the weary students pushed themselves up from the ground to assemble in front of him.

Privately, Naruto decided that Iruka was an evil sadistic man.

"Time for the third stage. We'll be dividing you into pairs randomly for four-minute spars. You don't have to win in order to pass; you just have to demonstrate your ability. Each of you will draw a slip of paper from this box-" he held it out for them to see, "-and that slip of paper will have a number written on it. Number 1 will fight Number 2, and 3 will fight 4, and so on. Choji, care to draw first?"

Choji did _not_ look like he cared to draw first, but he took the box anyway. "23," he read aloud.

The box was passed along. Sakura drew 9, and Kiba got 4. Sasuke had 22. Ino had 17 and Hinata had 15, meaning she was matched with Shino's 16. Closer and closer to Naruto, the box moved from hand to hand, the pile of white slips dwindling.

Naruto took it, gulping, and drew a slip.

"21," he read.

There was a moment before he realized what that meant. Then it hit him.

He looked up and met his opponent's- Sasuke's- eyes.

\--

Sasuke was sure he'd win.

All the same, he had a feeling that fighting Uzumaki would be more interesting than a regular spar. The blond was at least halfway decent- he'd come in fourth in the pair spar sessions, and it clearly wasn't Shikamaru who'd brought them to the win. At a guess, Uzumaki was top 5 in the class. And wherever he'd learned his taijutsu, it wasn't Academy standard.

The others were all the same. Kiba, Shino- even the Hyuga girl, who clearly knew other taijutsu techniques than the Academy katas- they all defaulted to the same basic, predictable moves. Neji Hyuga was an arrogant fool, but at least he had been a challenge- something new. He needed to challenge himself. He needed to get stronger.

He settled back to watch the other spars.

\--

The other spars went by quickly, it seemed to Naruto.

He cheered for his friends until Iruka finally told him to stop, it was an examination and not a contest. Kiba won his fight while Sakura came close but lost hers. Hinata's fight with Shino took the full four minutes and was inconclusive, but she was awarded the win in terms of connecting strikes. Ino won hers in the last seconds. And the next spar was over in just two and a half minutes, and Iruka-sensei was calling out, "Naruto and Sasuke."

He stepped into the ring, buzzing with anticipation.

Sasuke mirrored him.

"Are you both ready?" Iruka asked, and received nods. "Ready... begin!"

Naruto barely managed to step back in time.

Sasuke's kick slammed him in the chest, but he'd negated most of the force by dodging. He was stunned for a moment, but not longer. Which was fortunate, as Sasuke landed from the kick and then turned and punched at his throat in one fluid movement and Naruto only just managed to dodge.

_Think, think,_ Naruto told himself. _Fight back or you'll get pummeled._

He blocked the next punch and twisted Sasuke's arm back, but Sasuke planted his knee in Naruto's stomach and the blond boy started to gag; Sasuke, sensing weakness, tried to hook his foot between Naruto's ankles and trip him.

Naruto stumbled, but this wasn't a new tactic to him. He twisted as he fell and landed on the other boy shoulder-first.

Sasuke hissed in pain.

Naruto didn't give him time to regroup, but rolled to his feet and swung his leg towards Sasuke as he rose from the ground. Sasuke dodged and turned and chopped at the back of Naruto's neck, but he blocked it and punched the dark-haired boy in the gut.

He was tough. He was some four or five inches taller than Naruto, and he made it count. He was stronger physically than most of Naruto's practice partners, and when Naruto didn't manage to dodge a blow, it hurt. He had good stamina- he shook off blows that had to hurt and he wasn't slowing down. He was fast, unpredictable, and he had crazy reflexes.

The Uchiha caught Naruto's punch, seized his other shoulder and flipped him to the ground. Naruto landed with a thud and struggled to free himself from the hold. He slammed his head into Sasuke's nose, which had to be absolutely agonizing, but Sasuke only grunted in pain and tightened his grip.

Naruto tried to headbutt him again, but Sasuke shifted one of his arms to push Naruto's head to the ground.

So Naruto opened his mouth and bit.

Hard.

"Gah!" Sasuke cried, jerking back his arm.

In an instant, Naruto was on his feet, ready to attack.

"Stop! Stop!"

Iruka-sensei was there, forcing the two of them apart.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" the instructor demanded, facing... Naruto?

"Huh?"

"This is a spar, Naruto, and that kind of behavior is-"

"I thought we were supposed to be fighting each other," Naruto protested.

"You- it looked to me like you bit him."

"He did," Sasuke growled, looking furious.

"Yeah," Naruto shrugged. "So it's a spar, right? Isn't that the idea?"

"It's an examination, Naruto. You're not supposed to be drawing blood," Iruka-sensei explained. "I told you the rules, remember? No ninjutsu, no illusions, no weapons, no broken bones, no dislocated joints, no chokeholds, and no blood. This is an exhibition of your skills."

Naruto hadn't really been paying much attention when Iruka explained the rules, he had to admit. All the same it seemed like a silly thing to enforce- what kind of close combat didn't involve blood?

"In a real fight I'd bite him."

"In a real fight, I'd burn you to a crisp," Sasuke interjected.

"The strongest fighter is capable of subduing an opponent without harm," Iruka said firmly. "More to the point, a ninja follows the rules that are given him."

"But-"

"No." Iruka gave him a very stern look. "Go sit down. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and you won't be disqualified. We'll end your examination there, and you'll both be graded on what we've seen. Sasuke, do you need to go to the clinic?"

The boy shook his head, wiping off a thin trickle of blood on his shirt. It left a dull stain. "I'm fine."

"Then you sit down too."

Scowling, Naruto went over beside Kiba (who gave him a thumbs-up) and Sakura (who glared at him and then smacked him on the head) to sit down and sulk. Sasuke sat as well, on the far side of the sparring ring. He rinsed the bite mark with a water bottle and then dumped the rest of the water over his head.

"Choji and Kumi."

\--

Naruto took a deep breath and entered the room where the ninjutsu test would take place.

Suzume-sensei and Iruka-sensei were sitting at a table. When Naruto came in, Iruka-sensei waved him forward. "Come on up, Naruto- welcome to the fourth and final stage of your genin examination, the ninjutsu exam."

Naruto gulped.

"Don't look so nervous. You're going to be tested on the basic Transformation. The minimum requirement is three different successful transformations. If you don't mind, start by transforming into the Hokage..."

\--

Thirty students waited in a silent classroom.

"Good work, everyone," said Iruka with a smile. "I don't care what the results are- you all made me proud today. Final scores will be announced tomorrow morning. I'm pleased to have been your teacher at the Academy, and I hope that, no matter what your path in life, you all continue to grow as individuals. Dismissed."

"Thank God," Kiba muttered. "We survived."

\--

At the same time, deep within a hidden room in the ANBU Information division- commonly known as the Torture and Interrogation division- a very different conversation was taking place between two very different people.

"What's your name?" asked the tall, scarred man. His tone was casual, conversational.

"You know my name already," hissed the man in chains.

"What is your name?"

"Mizuki."

"What is your age?"

"Why waste time asking something like that?" retorted Mizuki. "Why don't you get to the point already? I know what you really want to know, and it isn't my age."

Ibiki Morino grinned mirthlessly. "If you really want me to."

"Go ahead."

"I want to know what you did with the Forbidden Scroll. Now."


End file.
